Dating Resources

Dating Resources.jpg

TEACHING | RELATED SERMONS

If dating is not mentioned in the Bible, then how exactly are we to think about dating biblically?

This is what we want to answer and unpack for you in these videos. The following were filmed during our Saturday Dating Seminar in February 2020.

And as learning is often best done in groups, we would recommend processing this content with others. So if you’re single wanting to pursue a relationship or you’re in a relationship and want wisdom, watch these with those in your LifeGroup of the same gender. If you’re a parent wanting to train up your children, watch these with your spouse and process through each video one at a time.


You

Before we talk about dating, we have to first look inward. We have to look at ourselves and our own sin tendencies and inadequacies as we approach dating because the Bible is first and foremost concerned about your inner life.

Them

Now that we’ve established our identity in Christ, let’s lay some groundwork for the type of person we ought to look for.

The Pursuit

We’ve covered who do I need to be and who do they need to be…let’s start to tackle the question: What do I actually do in a relationship?

Dating

While there aren’t any “dating” verses in the bible, it’s ultimately a wisdom issue. By following wisdom we can avoid unneeded suffering. Dating biblically our call is to discern if that is the person God wants you to marry.

The End

When dating biblically there are really only two outcomes: break up or get married. Both are successful in light of the goal.


A Marriage You’d Actually Want

This 10-week series takes an honest look at marriage, unpacks God's intention for it, and paints the picture of a marriage you'd actually want.

Theology of Sex

This series spends seven weeks unpacking God’s design for gender and sexuality in an effort to understand ourselves, love our neighbor, and live out our mission.

Resources on Politics

Resources.Politics header.jpg

Every year, (and especially every four years), we’re faced with the daunting task of voting for those who will shape policies and legislation that will impact us and our neighbors. So how do we as followers of Jesus exercising Spirit-filled wisdom navigate this topic faithfully? Below we’ve provided a series of sermons, articles, and books to better equip you to think through this.

Watch/Listen

SERMONS

podcasts

Videos


READ

ARTICLES

“How Do Christians Fit Into a Two-Party System? They Don’t” by Tim Keller in The New York Times
“The historical Christian positions on social issues don’t match up with contemporary political alignments.”

“Bad Reasons to Vote for Someone and Good Questions to Ask” by Midtown Fellowship
“Biblically, I can’t even tell you as a Christian that you absolutely should or should not vote. But I can tell you the good news of Jesus’ life, death and resurrection give us a new perspective and a new identity.”

“America is in the Grips of a Fundamentalist Revival” by David French in The Dispatch
“I wasn’t sure I’d ever live to see a truly large-scale religious awakening. But here we are. Here it is. There’s just one catch. It’s not Christian. It is, however, quite fundamentalist.”

“I’m Not Hateful, You Are!” by David French in The Dispatch 
“Do the first verses of Matthew 7 describe a reality that isn’t just personal but also cultural and political? Can a nation suffer the consequences of mass-scale intolerance? I think yes. I think we’re living it right now.”

“Jesus is Not Your American Patriot” The Gospel Coalition
“‘God and country’ is a popular sentiment. Despite the fact that America was reputedly built on Judeo-Christian values, this seemingly honorable motto is problematic.”

“Patriotism and Christianity” in Christianity Today 
“What is the difference between patriotism and nationalism?”

“Our Exile Heritage” by Midtown Fellowship
“Like the Christians Peter wrote to in Asia Minor, we are now called to pick up the mantle of living as exiles for the benefit of the world around us by seeing and knowing and glorifying Jesus.”

“Parenting and Patriotism” - by Midtown Fellowship
“Should we be leading the charge in celebrating this nation? Or should we lead the charge in mourning the many sins of our nation? And how should we talk to our kids about it?”

“The Freedom of Fear” by Midtown Fellowship
“Fear of God means politics and politicians aren’t ultimate. So if my candidate loses or the worst candidate ever wins, I can remain confident that God will hold the universe together.”


Books

Onward: Engaging the Culture Without Losing the Gospel by Russell Moore
“As the culture changes all around us, it is no longer possible to pretend that we are a Moral Majority. That may be bad news for America, but it can be good news for the church.”

Compassion (&) Conviction: The AND Campaign’s Guide to Faithful Civic Engagement by Justin Giboney, Michael Wear and Chris Butler
“Too often, political questions are framed in impossible ways for the faithful Christian: we're forced to choose between social justice and biblical values…  As a result, it's easy for Christians to grow disillusioned with civic engagement or fall back into tribal extremes… When we understand our civic engagement as a way to obey Christ's call to love our neighbor, we see that it is possible to engage the political process with both love and truth―compassion and conviction.”

Thou Shalt Not be a Jerk: A Christian’s Guide to Engaging Politics by Eugene ChoWhen we stay in the Scriptures, pray for wisdom, and advocate for the vulnerable, our love for politics, ideology, philosophy, or even theology, stop superseding our love for God and neighbor.”

The Four Deep Idols

Jesus calls us to walk in the light, confessing our sins to God and each other. God’s Spirit works through confession and community to lead us to repentance. (Romans 3:23-24, James 5:16 and 1 John 1:5-10)

Surface sins and idols are visible, noticeable sin patterns whereas “deep” idols address the sin underneath the sin. Surface sins ask, “What did you do?” Deep idols ask, “What prompted you to do what you did?” As followers of Jesus, we want to examine and confess both surface sins and deep idols in order to experience deeper freedom and joy in Jesus.

The four deep idols are power, control, comfort, and approval. Below is their breakdown.

Power

  • Definition: over-desire for significance through success, winning, and influence. May feel the need to be right, the best, competent, outstanding, “special” person. In fact, you may hear your those whose go-to is power assert how “good” they are.

  • Fears: Humiliation and meaninglessness. Wants to avoid feeling insignificant.

  • Impact on relationship dynamics: Others are either idealized (corresponds to desire) or devalued (corresponds to fear). Others feel used by them. Affirmation/praise from others is not a priority or they do not depend on it, because they are their own judge and they know that they are right and good.

  • Problem emotions: Dominant emotion is anger expressed outwardly.

Control

  • Definition: over-desire for certainty which exhibits through control of self, environment, others - not necessarily by dominance, but more by control over doing something, working hard, being self-disciplined, upholding standards. They may seek certainty and may seek to be self-sufficient.

  • Fears: Uncertainty, criticism, and may want to avoid feelings of uselessness, irrelevance (I don’t matter), which may lead to a sense of being invisible (non-existent).

  • Impact on relationship dynamics: Others feel condemned around them. They believe others rely on them. Others are drawn to their capacity to perform (very capable) and solve problems, but others are kept at a distance and they usually do not feel much affect towards others. Social distance is present, while power people seek a wider social circle.

  • Problem emotions: Feeling worried or anxious

Approval

  • Definition: over-desire to please, to get affirmation and acceptance through relationships by helping and meeting others’ needs/desires. They need to get positive feedback, to provide services so that others need them. They may be susceptible to codependency.

  • Fears: Rejection, avoids conflict, and may struggle with cowardice.

  • Impact on relationship dynamics: Others are feared or idealized. Others may feel smothered by them because they need affirmation to feel worthy. Others tend to see them as warm, friendly, and non-aggressive. Absorbs criticism and may easily say that they are bad or wrong.

  • Problem emotions: Implosion of fear. Avoids situations for fear of conflict and avoids people for fear of rejection. Usually seeks connections with others to soothe their fear.

Comfort

  • Definition: over-desire for avoidance of pain/stress by seeking freedom from responsibility, expectations, and anything that may feel unpleasant by seeking immediate gratification through addictive behaviors or through numbing and escaping.

  • Fears: Stress and demands and may seek privacy.

  • Impact on relationship dynamics: Others may feel neglected or annoyed because they may seem indifferent and may be unproductive. They do not believe that others care about them, thus the lack of response to others. They tend to be passive-aggressive.

  • Problem emotions: Restlessness, boredom, and weariness as a result of detaching, consequently feeling meaninglessness and isolation.

A Breakdown of the Beatitudes

 

The Sermon on the Mount - and more specifically, The Beatitudes, are some of the most written and taught about passages of Scripture in the Bible. 

The Beatitudes are snapshot statements on what life in the Kingdom of God looks like for the follower of Jesus. Each statement begins with a statement and ends with a completely unexpected conclusion.  (In fact, some translators will include a “because” instead of “for” in each statement to help the reader more clearly see the correlation between the two statements.) For example, when Jesus says “Blessed are the poor in spirit,” His audience would not expect Jesus to follow up that statement with “because theirs is the kingdom of heaven.” Jesus’ intent is to show just how upside-down his values are from the world’s.

This upside-down value system Jesus offers is easy to forget. Living in a post-Christian culture, we can treat these statements as spiritual niceties and proverbial wisdoms when in reality they are shocking, counter-cultural statements about the ever-invading presence of God’s kingdom.

While not exhaustive, here is a breakdown of each of these statements along with Scripture cross-references to explore this passage more on your own.

Related resources: “The Beatitudes” sermon series from Desiring God, “How the Order of the Beatitudes Could Change Your Life” from The Gospel Coalition

1 - Blessed are the poor in spirit (v.3)

The poor in spirit are not proud or boastful. God has a particular affection for “the least of these”, the outcasts, the lowly, the destitute, the sojourner, the orphan, the widow. Such people recognize their shortcomings and are more able to humbly experience God’s grace and His Kingdom invitation. Like the tax collector in Luke 18:9-14, participants of God’s kingdom are aware of their sin and their need for God’s mercy. Eugene Peterson puts it this way:

You’re blessed when you’re at the end of your rope. With less of you there is more of God and his rule.

See Psalms 14:6; 22:24; 25:16; 34:6; 40:17; 69:29.

2 - Blessed are those who mourn (v.4) 

Those who mourn do not avoid, distract, or numb themselves to the brokenness in themselves and the world around them. This promise is the first of several reversals in the Beatitudes. Life in the Kingdom of God is both something to experience now and something that will be experienced later after death for the believer. Mourning will one day turn to celebration, every tear will be wiped away, and suffering will be forgotten.

See Rev. 21 and Rev. 22

3 - Blessed are the meek (v.5)

Those who are meek do not seek after power. Flowing out of spiritual humility, a meek person is open, vulnerable, and quietly submits and trusts God’s rule and reign no matter their circumstances. And Jesus says these types of people, who willfully give up power, will one day inherit all of creation. This concept of inheritance implies adoption, that we are co-stewards and co-rulers of God’s creation. Joseph Dillow in The Reign of the Servant Kings says:

Inheriting is not always the same as entering. A person can enter another’s house, for example, without inheriting it. The Old Testament concept of inheriting involved not only entering but also becoming an owner of what one entered. In this beatitude, Jesus was saying more than that the meek will enter the kingdom. They will also enter into it as an inheritance and possess it. 

4 - Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness (v.6)

Those who hunger and thrust for righteousness do not demand personal gratification. Whenever Matthew speaks of “righteousness” he is referring not to initial salvation but to personal holiness and a desire to see that personal holiness extend to God’s people. As a participant of the Kingdom, they pray and work towards others encountering the presence and power of God in their lives.

Those who hunger are people like the poor Jesus has already mentioned. The term has OT roots both in conjunction with the poor (Isa 32:6-7; 58:6-7, 9-10; Ezek 18:7, 16) or by itself (Pss 37:16-19; 107:9).

 5 - Blessed are the merciful (v.7)

Those who are merciful are not vindictive. Flowing out of the other Beatitudes so far, a humble, single-minded Kingdom participant is quick to extend forgiveness because they are fully aware of how much they have been forgiven. John Stott in The Message of the Sermon on the Mount says it this way:

A merciful person forgives the guilty and has compassion on the needy and the suffering. A meek person acknowledges to others that he or she is sinful, but a merciful person has compassion on others because they are sinful.

6 - Blessed are the pure in heart (v.8)

Those who are pure in heart do not have hidden agendas. To be pure in heart does not imply moral perfection or sinlessness but a single-mindedness in devotion to God - someone who knows they are saved by grace through faith and works towards orienting and prioritizing their lives more and more around the Lordship of King Jesus. This concept is prevalent throughout both Matthew and the Old Testament.

See -  Deut. 10:16; 30:6; 1 Sam. 15:22; Ps. 24:3-4; 51:6, 10; Isa. 1:10-17; Jer. 4:4; 7:3-7; 9:25-26). 

 7 - Blessed are the Peacemakers (v.9)

Peacemakers are not divisive. Jesus followers make peace in mirroring King Jesus, the Prince of Peace (Isa. 9:6-7). Though we were at enmity with God because of sin, Jesus conquers sin and death on our behalf and reconciles us to the Father. Isaiah predicts this of the Messiah in Isaiah 52:7. To be a peacemaker not only means we forgive others (v.7) but that we proactively herald the gospel that brings people into a peaceful relationship with God and with others.

 8 - Blessed are the Persecuted (vv.10-12)

Those who are persecuted do not seek acceptance and approval from others because all of their acceptance and approval is found in Jesus. In Jesus’ conclusion of the Beatitudes, He reminds His disciples of both the current reality and future rewards of those who suffer. The world stands in opposition to life in the Kingdom. As a result, the righteous become targets of the unrighteous This happened to Jesus, The Suffering Servant, and the expectation is this should happen to us as well. (In fact, according to OpenDoors, the global church has experienced more persecution and martyrdom now than anytime in church history.)

See -  John 15:18-25; Acts 14:22; 2 Tim. 3:12; 1 Pet. 4:13-14

Practicing Journaling

Journaling Header.jpg

“I will give thanks to the Lord with my whole heart; I will recount all of your wonderful deeds.”

Psalm 9:1

Journaling is a means of consciously reflecting on the Word and work of God in our midst. This act of reflection has been a practice of followers of Jesus in one form or another throughout history to slow down and examine our thought life, to center ourselves on the presence of God and His Word, to better focus on our prayers (since it’s easy to get distracted praying silently or out loud), and to keep a record over time to look at where God has been faithful.

And while there’s no one right way to go about it, we would strongly recommend beginning with Scripture so as to allow God’s voice to take priority over our own, (check out our Bible reading plans for where to start).

From there, use Scripture as a launching pad to journal. The point is not so much in the method or approach - rather through journaling, the point is to get ourselves in a place where we are experiencing God’s love for us afresh as we approach Him in His Word and in prayer. 

The following prompts are ways to get you started, after reading Scripture:

  • Paraphrase the passage in your own words

  • Study the passage on your own - What does the passage reveal about God and/or people? What is the passage calling you to do/pray for?

  • Write out your prayers, focusing on particular truths you need to be reminded of

  • Recount where you have seen God’s faithfulness recently - How have you seen Him at work?

  • Process your thought life - What are you wrestling with and what does God’s Word say in light of that?

Related Resources:

How to Study the Bible

Examen Prayer

Lectio Divina

Mind Mapping

“Abide” from Following Jesus Together

How to Prepare for Sunday LifeGroup Gatherings

How to Prepare for Sunday.jpg

Please spend time reading through the following list and the Sunday Liturgy in order to be prepared for your Sunday LifeGroup Gathering.

HOSTING

Select a place to host Sunday LifeGroup Gatherings. We’d encourage you to select a different location than where you meet during the week for LifeGroup night to take the hosting burden off of one person or family.

Prior to gathering together, the host should clean and disinfect frequently touched surfaces (e.g. door knobs, light switches, countertops, faucets, chairs, etc.) and primary communal areas (e.g. kitchen, bathroom, living room, dining room, etc.) in their home. Consider reaching out to everyone in LifeGroup to see who’s coming to make sure you have enough seating for everyone.

Because Sunday LifeGroup Gatherings still involves teaching, please make sure you have access to technology (e.g. laptop, tv with internet access, etc.) so you can watch and listen to the teaching. 

Note: Sunday LifeGroup Gathering should last 60 to 90 minutes.


SAFETY & SANITATION RECOMMENDATIONS

In order to ensure the safety and health of those gathering together, we recommend the following precautions be taken before and after people gather.

  • Follow CDC Environmental Cleaning and Disinfection Recommendations

  • Do not attend a Sunday LifeGroup Gathering if you are sick, might be sick, or have any reason to think you have been exposed to COVID-19.

  • Make sure shared surfaces (e.g. doorknobs, light switches, countertops, faucets, chairs, etc.) are disinfected before and after each gathering.

  • Wash your hands thoroughly (more than 20 seconds with soap and warm water) upon arrival and upon returning home.

  • If serving food and/or drink, serve individually and with washed hands.

  • Keep as much distance as possible between members of different households and their belongings.


SUNDAY LITURGY

Before Sunday you will be provided a Sunday Liturgy. A “liturgy” is the arrangement of elements that Christians follow when gathered together. It’s a practical way of doing the “one anothers” that the New Testament calls us to. Those elements traditionally involve singing, praying, and reading/listening to God’s Word.Your leader should look over the Sunday Liturgy to familiarize themselves with the flow of the gathering. The leader can also divvy out responsibilities (such as singing, corporate prayer, etc.) to Core Group members in the LifeGroup so as to share the ministry weight with others.


KIDS 

Families make up a large part of our church and LifeGroups, so children should be a part of your Sunday LifeGroup Gathering experience. There are two primary options for your group:

  1. Include kids in your LifeGroup Gathering time. This option is more ideal for groups with older kids and a fewer number of kids.

    • Benefits: Kids get to see adults being the church and learning together. It’s also logistically simpler.

    • Negatives: Kids can be very distracting to the group and the content isn't geared toward their learning level.

  2. Run a Kidtown space for the kids in your LifeGroup. This option is more ideal for groups with younger kids and a larger number of kids.

    • Benefits: Kids get to learn on their level and adults aren't distracted by their kids during the gathering.

      • A great way to do this is to have kids leave to go to a separate room after the music portion of the Gathering.

      • Based on Kidtown guidelines, there should always be at least two adults in the room with the kids.Rotate adults each week, so the adults also have time to engage in the Teaching and Discussion portions with other adults.

      • Another option could be to find a LifeGroup with kids that meets at a different time and swap childcare with them.

      • Lead kids through the Kidtown curriculum that will be most easily understood by every child.

TEENS AND PRE-TEENS

Teenagers are in a massively important transitional and formative stage. They aren't adults yet but they certainly aren't kids anymore either. The best options for them during LifeGroup Gathering time are to include them in what the adults are learning or to have them help with childcare for younger kids.

Each week we provide a Student Conversation Guide to help you debrief and engage with the teens in your LifeGroup.

SHARING A MEAL

While optional, part of being church family together includes sharing meals.

f you do decide to eat together, use GroupMe a few days out to decide who’s bringing what or set up a list through PerfectPotluck.com


Remember to take proper precautions as we eat together. Serve food and drink individually and with washed hands.


Through this all, please remember to follow the safety and sanitary regulations according to the CDC.


FAQ

What do we do if our group is too big?

First make sure to send out an RSVP event via GroupMe. While your group may be large on paper, it could be only some will actually attend.

If your group is too big for everyone to gather comfortably and safely, we’d recommend the following. 

  • Sitting outdoors with your electronic device connected to a speaker.

  • Splitting your LifeGroup into smaller groups to practice social distancing. 

    • If your LifeGroup is near multiplication, consider using this as an opportunity for the new group to begin meeting together.

    • Other options could include separating a LifeGroup according to gender, geographic location, or a 50/50 ratio of Core Group to non-Core Group.

How do we incorporate those who aren’t able to attend in person?

While we would encourage people to meet and think it best, we also understand if people aren’t ready to meet face-to-face. For those in LifeGroup who can’t attend, create a zoom link for them to watch the sermon with your group.

Parenting & Patriotism

Parenting Patriotism Web.jpg

Parents, the 4th of July is right around the corner. Hopefully, you have plans to grill out and shoot fireworks with friends and family. However, have you considered how we as Christians should think about the 4th of July, as well as patriotism in general? For example, should we be leading the charge in celebrating this nation that we grew up hearing was founded on biblical principles? Or should we lead the charge in mourning the many sins of our nation? And how should we talk to our kids about it? Hopefully, these few simple ideas will help.


  1. Remember that our citizenship is in heaven and our identity is in christ

Above all else, we should remind our children that the truest and most essential thing about us as Christians is that we are God’s. It’s not the grades we get in school, the color of our skin or the country we live in. As Christians, we have more in common with believers from other nations than we do with our unbelieving fellow Americans. The Bible says that our citizenship is in heaven. (Philippians 3:20) We are on this earth for just a little while before we spend eternity with Jesus and even while we are here, our allegiance is to Jesus and His kingdom above all else.

The truest and most essential thing about us as Christians is that we are God’s.

2. Celebrate the Good

As parents, we should help our kids remember all the good that we have by living in America and be grateful for it! We are free to meet openly with our church family on Sundays and throughout the week. We are not in danger of physical persecution for being a Christian. As well, most of us have access to food, drink, education and healthcare and we can be grateful for that! 

By celebrating and thanking God for the good things that we have in America, we are not saying that we are better than other nations. There is a good emphasis these days that ultimately has its roots in Scripture of celebrating other cultures and seeking diversity in every sphere of life. In fact, the Bible says that when we worship God in heaven, we will be doing so with people from every nation! (Revelation 7:9)

At the same time we’re thanking God for all of the blessings we have, we can pray for those who don’t have the same blessings.


3. Mourn the bad

It’s good for our children to know that neither America nor any other nation is perfect, because every nation is made up of imperfect people. We need God to intervene to end racism, religiosity, greed and selfishness which run rampant in America. We should mourn this and teach our children biblical values, not American ones.


4. Pray and work for the good of our nation. (Jeremiah 29:7)

Finally, as citizens of heaven, we should pray for the good of our nation, the leaders of our nation and the people in our nation. We should also find every opportunity to work for the good of our nation and neighbors.* So enjoy your hotdogs, hamburgers and fireworks, and find a second to talk to your kids about how we as Christians should view this holiday and this nation.

*For ideas of what you can do regarding racial justice, click here.


Additional Resources:

Parenting is Hard

Parenting.Header.png

Let’s start here: Parenting is hard. Anybody have a hard time just getting your kids up and going in the morning? But I mean more than that. Parenting is truly difficult at all kinds of levels, even physically. Parents deal with an extreme lack of sleep, with sensory overload - crazy sounds and smells, and with a constant need for diligent attention. 

I know of nothing else that exposes our selfishness like parenting. As well as laziness, control issues, anger, anxiety, and the list goes on. It stresses the marriage relationship. It makes you face areas of brokenness in your own family of origin. And don’t hear me wrong. It’s also wonderful...sometimes. And it’s hard almost all the time. And that’s just normal day to day parenting. We’re not even talking about the thousands of types of suffering families go through every day.

Thankfully, God’s Word is incredibly helpful for us as parents. Deuteronomy 6 is known as the shema. This is the ancient Hebrew philosophy for how education, parenting and generational discipleship work. We’ll use this picture of 3 concentric circles as we walk through this passage.

unnamed.png

Deuteronomy 6:4-9 “Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God, the Lord is one. 

This is the center, the anchor. Reality and truth are not beholden to our preferences or perspective. There is a fixed, immovable anchor at the center of the universe. Yahweh, the Lord our God. This is good news because anchors help us not drown in storms. And parenting is a storm. 

5 You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6 And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 

Circle #1: Your relationship with God.

How beautiful is it that God’s primary command in all the Scriptures is to love Him. For many of us that’s hard to believe, but the thing God cares about most is that you walk in a loving relationship with Him. What an incredible God. Jesus was asked what the most important command is in the whole Bible and He quotes this verse. 

Why? Because everything else falls apart if you live with anything else as central in your life. Pleasure, substances, a significant other, your kids. They can’t hold up under the weight. Nothing else is worthy of centrality in your life. Nothing else is worthy of your ultimate love.

At a more practical level when it comes to parenting, you have to start here with Circle #1 because you cannot mandate onto your children’s hearts something they don’t see modeled in yours. 

One of our favorite and slightly terrifying ways to say this came from a pastor named Wayne Cordeiro. “You can teach what you know, but you reproduce who you are.” You can tell your kids 1000 times that prayer is important but none of that changes the fact that they will look at your life and see if you pray or not. 

Some of you are playing this silly religious game - “Well I want to raise my kid in church so they’ll be good and moral and stuff.” But the problem there is you can’t honestly believe 1 hour a week here with us is going to put a dent in the 167 other hours they spend elsewhere every week.

The only way this thing works is if the church is partnering with you to help you love the Lord your God with all your heart and all your soul and your kids are getting to see that in you. It is not possible for the church to replace you as your kids’ primary discipler. And we don’t even want to try. 

7 You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8 You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 

Circle #2: Your relationship with your kids.

If you focus on God as the anchoring center point of your universe and build out from there--if your primary focus in life is loving and walking with Him--then it will flow naturally that you would want to share that with your kids. 

“But I don’t know what to say!?” Well ... what do you know about God? Tell them about that. What are you thankful about who God is and what He’s done in your life? What have you read about God in His Word recently? What do you pray to God about? Tell them about that. If the answer to all that is “uuhhhh... I got nothing.” Then that’s a problem with Circle #1.

And because God knows that our schedules are crazy busy, I love the simplicity of the commands in these verses:

“You shall talk of them... when you sit in your house.” Do you ever find yourself sitting around your house? Perfect. That’s a great time to talk to your kids about God. 

“And when you walk by the way.” This can literally be translated, “As you’re out and about.” We need to see that this is not saying add 10 more things to your routine. It’s saying as you’re going, weave conversation about God into the rhythms you already have. 

“And when you lie down” - Every night. Bedtime is a great time to think about and talk about and love God together with your kids. 

And when you rise” Every morning. This is another opportunity to remember who God is and that we are His.

So here’s how this works in the Ludovina household. 

  • “When we sit in the house”. Almost every night at dinner, after we eat we get out a Bible and a devotional and we read some Bible together and discuss it. And I get to share my love of God and His Word with my kids. And we say out loud the same 4 rules every time. Things like “I will not ask questions that have nothing to do with what we’re talking about.” And “I will not get up and go to the bathroom.” And half the time we break half those rules, but we’re aiming for 18 years of parenting that show off God’s splendor, not 18 perfect minutes of a single devotion. 

  • When we walk by the way.” Most often this is in the car. Once we were listening to a song and the lyrics were, “your love, your love, your love is my drug.” I reached over and turned it down, “What are they singing about? Why would they say love is like a drug? They depend on it, huh? Do y'all think that’s healthy? No, no it’s not. Why not? Because they’re treating that person like God. That won’t ever work will it? Want me to tell you again how daddy idolized relationships when in high school and college? No, heard that one enough? Ok, we can go back to music. No we can’t turn it up. Daddy gets migraines.”

  • When we lie down” Almost every night bedtime involves singing, prayer, and snuggles. I love to get down in my kids’ bed with them and ask, “How was your day? Was anyone mean to you today? What was the best part?” I have 5 kids and it’s a lot. But it’s worth it. Almost every night I say, “You know daddy loves you? Forever and ever? No matter what? And you know I’m proud of you? And you know why? Because that’s how God loves me. I’m trying to show y'all His love.”

  • When we rise” Every morning is a bit of chaos before we get out the door, but we all huddle up in the kitchen and pray for 20 seconds before we leave. “God help us. Help us wake up. Help us love the people you put around us. Help us remember that we go out with You today.”

Now this is an article about parenting and it’s easy to read this text with an assumed parental lens. However, if you go back to verse 4, this whole set of instructions was given to Israel. Not just parents. So while it certainly applies to parenting, it’s also bigger than that. Because raising kids is an all-of-us project. A village of people are needed to teach our children how great and worthy God is.

9 You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.

Circle #3: Your relationship with your neighbors.

I won’t get into this deeply but the third circle is when the first 2 circles are working well, our families start to become this beautiful oasis of joy and laughter and peace. Our families and community have the ability to be a signpost to heaven for other families in our city. To where other families start going “what’s that about?” And you get to have conversations about this unbelievable God at the center of the universe who loves us more than we can imagine. And the thing He cares about most is that we love Him and walk in relationship with Him. So I’m just trying to bring my kids in on that and help them understand that in my own limited and imperfect ways. That’s our 18-year goal. And yeah we’d love to invite you and your family into that in any way that’s helpful to you. You will find this to be a different approach to parenting and mission and your neighbors than “I can’t believe you let your kids watch Harry Potter. Ughhh. You know that’s witchcraft, right?”

Remember, the shema only works from the inside out. If you don’t start with God and your love for Him. Your identity will be off. Your sense of security and hope will be off. Your ability to train your kids will always end up imbalanced in one direction or the other. It’ll be child-centered or parent-centered and both are broken because neither you nor they are God. You're going to be crushed by the fact that your kids are infringing on your freedom and there’s no way to actually parent them without infringing on their freedoms.

However, if you start with God as the center and move to circle 1 and then circle 2 and circle 3, it all works. 

  • When it comes to truth, God decides what is true and He teaches us and we teach them. 

  • When it comes to authority, God is in charge and He puts us in charge, not to abuse or dominate our children but to lovingly serve them with godly direction and discipline.

  • When it comes to purpose, God gives us meaning and He gives us purpose in loving our kids and leading them into where real purpose and meaning is found. 

  • When it comes to relationships, God invites us into a perfect loving relationship with Him. He trains us why it’s worth it to restrict our freedoms for the incredible joy found in a loving relationship with Him, with our kids, and with our community and we get to share all of that as we lead our kids into it.

With these circles in order, over time, you’ll find that God of the universe -- the God who invented parenting -- has all the wisdom and all the love and all the patience and all the joy and strength and courage, conviction, and resolve that you’re going to need for the parenting marathon. Even through the terrible 2s. And even through the middle school years. 

And over time He’ll grow fruit in you and in your relationship with your spouse and kids in such a way that even the neighbors might start to notice. 

For more resources on parenting, visit midtowncolumbia.com/parenting.

Resources on Race

Resources for Race.jpg

As followers of Jesus - who hold firmly to this gospel and look forward to the day when Christ returns putting to death all pain, injustice, oppression and even death itself - we stand up for righteousness, truth, justice and love - because those things are definitive of life in the Kingdom of Heaven.

So, justice and reconciliation - especially regarding race - have been in the collective consciousness of our churches for the past several years.

We believe it’s timely to put those resources, conversations, and teachings back to the forefront of our minds and invite us once again to be a force for change.

In the list of resources, we’ve also included links to organizations and opportunities for you to take further steps to stand up for justice and love. We’d ask that you’d prayerfully consider giving your voice, energy, and resources to these opportunities.


Recommended Resources:

Join us each Wednesday morning as we pray together as a church family.

Midtown Resources: 

A collection of Midtown sermons and a supplemental book dedicated to racial injustice and reconciliation in the church. 

A conversation hosted by our Downtown and Two Notch churches shortly after the events of Ferguson, MO. 

A sermon from our Lexington church on race relations in America and how the church responds.

A teaching given by our Two Notch church’s pastor, Ant Frederick, at an Outreach North America conference. 

Additional Resources:

**Inclusion on this list does not necessarily equate to an endorsement of everything they say, but we believe the following media is helpful and important when discussing race in America.

Actionable steps white people (and anyone else) can take.

Campaign for thoughtfully biblical civic, political and social Christian engagement. 

The Witness is a black Christian collective that engages issues of religion, race, justice, and culture from a biblical perspective. 

  • Be The Bridge

    A Christian organization empowering people toward racial healing, equity and reconciliation.


Podcasts: 

Things White People (and anyone else) Can Do For Racial Justice

Things White People.jpg

As followers of Jesus - who hold firmly to this gospel and look forward to the day when Christ returns putting to death all pain, injustice, oppression and even death itself - we stand up for righteousness, truth, justice and love - because those things are definitive of life in the Kingdom of Heaven.

So, justice and reconciliation - especially regarding race - have been in the collective consciousness of our churches for the past several years.

We believe it’s timely to put resources, conversations, and teachings back to the forefront of our minds and invite us once again to be a force for change.

In the list of resources, we’ve also included links to organizations and opportunities for you to take further steps to stand up for justice and love. We’d ask that you’d prayerfully consider giving your voice, energy, and resources to these opportunities.

**Some items on this list were adapted from the article 75 Things White People Can Do for Racial Justice by Corinne Shutack

Read, Watch and Listen:

**Inclusion on this list does not necessarily equate to an endorsement of everything the authors say, but we believe the following books and media are helpful and important when discussing race in America. Consider starting a book club with your LifeGroup and/or invite in people you are building with.

  • Read Be the Bridge by Latasha Morrison.

  • Read The Color of Compromise by Jamar Tisby

  • Read The New Jim Crow by Michelle Alexander. 

  • Read Caught by Marie Gottschalk. 

  • Read Between the World and Me by Ta-Nehisi Coates. 

  • Read A People’s History of the United States by Howard Zinn.

  • Read The Next Evangelicalism by Soong-Chan Rah

  • Read Ta-Nehisi Coates’ article, The Case for Reparations. 

  • Watch these videos to hear first hand accounts of what our black brothers and sisters live. Then read everyday people’s experiences through the hashtag #realizediwasblack. Share with others.

  • Watch movies that portray the realities of America’s history Roots, 12 Years a Slave, and Selma are great films to begin..

  • Check out black movies, TV, and other media that show persons of color as lead characters and in their full humanity. 

  • Watch “13th” - a documentary on the American criminal justice system and mass incarceration of African Americans.

  • Watch “The House I Live In” - a documentary on the American criminal justice system. 

In sum, diversify your bookshelf and your watch/listen lists to include authors, speakers, stories and story-tellers of color. 

Give, Buy, Share:

Advocate, Vote, Volunteer:

  • Engage in local elections, especially those involved in the criminal justice system, and advocate for legislative criminal justice reform. We tend to focus our attention on federal elections, but local and state elections (e.g., solicitors, sheriffs, town and county council) are very important as well.

  • Research your local police department. Do they currently outfit all on-duty police officers with a body-worn camera and require that the body-worn camera be turned on immediately when officers respond to a police call? If they don’t, write to your city or town government representative and police chief to advocate for it.

  • Multiply your voice by soliciting others to advocate as well, writing on social media about it, writing op-eds, etc.

  • Sign and share The And Campaign’s 2020 Presidential Statement.

  • If you are an educator, buy books that feature people of color as protagonists and heroes. A few good lists are here, here, here, here, and here. And/or purchase educational toys that feature people of color, such as finger puppets, Black History Flashcards, etc for their classroom. Use these items year-round, not just in February. 

  • Work on ensuring that black educators are hired where black children are being taught. Listen to this episode of Malcolm Gladwell’s podcast to understand why this is important and the difference it makes. 

  • Work with your HR department to recruit African Americans. Recruiting from HBCUs is a good start.

  • Learn about criminal justice disparities and advocate for policy changes to address them by contacting your state representatives. For example, read up about mandatory minimum sentences and watch videos about this on Families Against Mandatory Minimums (FAMM’s) website. Call or write to your state legislators and governor about reducing mandatory minimum sentences for non-violent drug crimes.

  • Research your local prosecutors. In South Carolina, our prosecutors are called solicitors. Solicitors have a lot of power in their decisions about which crimes to charge a person with, when to schedule cases (yes, solicitors schedule cases in SC not judges), and what sentence to recommend.

  • Find out how slavery, the Civil War, and the Jim Crow era are being taught in your local school. Advocate that history is taught correctly and certain parts are not skipped over or barely mentioned. Advocate that many voices be used in the study of history. Often these decisions are made by the local school board or set by the state Department of Education. Find out who makes the decisions and reach out to them. For example, when talking about slavery, is your school showing images such as Gordon’s scourged back, a slave ship hold, and an enslaved nurse holding her young master? Are non-white explorers, scientists, politicians discussed? Are non-white male and female authors on reading lists? Are Japanese internment camps being discussed? There are a lot of great resources out there with a little googling, like PBS’s resources for teaching slavery, this People of Color Online Classroom blog, Teaching for Change, and The National Association for Multicultural Education.

  • Get to know your local police department. Call and ask to meet the officers who work in the region you live in or set up a time for them to come meet you and your neighbors. Most departments have programs in place to set up these kinds of events.

Relationships, Parenting, and Etc:

  • Listen without ego and defensiveness to people of color. Truly listen. Don’t scroll past articles written by people of color — Read them.

  • Buy and read God’s Very Good Idea by Trillia Newbell with your children. Consider buying to give to others as a gift, too!

  • Provide and read books that feature persons of color as protagonists and heroes. The previous lists here, here, here, here, and here may be a helpful place to start.

  • Seek out a diverse group of friends for your kids.

  • Seek out a diverse group of friends for you. Practice real friendship and intimacy by listening when people of color talk about their experiences and their perspectives. They’re speaking about their pain.

  • Don’t be silent about that racist joke.

  • If there are black children/teens in your life, contribute to their college savings plans.

  • Be honest about your history - both American history and your own.

  • If you have a close relationship with a young person of color, make sure he/she knows how much you love them. Love and affirm that child.

  • Talk to the white people you know who aren’t clearly upset by white supremacy. Use “I” statements and “I care” messages (“I feel [feeling] when you [behavior]”). They need to know you see a problem. Call them out, and call them in.

Marriage Resources

Marriage Resources.jpg

TEACHING | RELATED WORKSHEETS | RELATED SERMONS

As of the time writing this post, we are nearing the end of week 8 in quarantine. For married couples, you’ve never spent this time together…ever. You might be running out of Netflix shows to watch, tired from going on so many walks outside, exhausted from your kids or all of the above.

So during this time, we wanted to provide these marriage resources for you to invest in your marriage. The following videos were filmed during our weekend Marriage Conference in February 2020. Before you begin watching these, go ahead and put the kids to bed, set your phones down in another room, and carve out some intentional time to watch these with your spouse. Try to work on just one video per night as there’s a lot of information to unpack in each one.

At the end of each video ask your spouse, “What was one thing that stood out to you from the video?” And, “What’s one thing we can take from that video to invest in our marriage?”

So grab a bottle of wine, get a pen and paper out, take some notes, and have fun!

Part 1

Sex in a Covenant

Marriage covenant involves two becoming one. A single unit, socially, emotionally, economically, spiritually, legally. It means that every aspect of life is joined with your spouse. [Run time - 24:33]

Some Practical Help for Sex

With a theological understanding of sex in marriage, we want to shift to some practical help on how to move in that direction. [Run time - 18:45]

9 Enemies of Sex

The truth is, there are forces and circumstances both physical and spiritual that keep us from being united with our spouse in sex. [Run time - 37:40]


Part 2

American Marriage vs Covenant Marriage

For Americans, marriage is a contract. When it gets tough, you find a new contract partner. But for Christians, as we see in Scripture, marriage is a covenant. [Run time - 16:13]

Love the One You’re With

Jesus love for us is unconditional. He loves us knowing full well our sin and weaknesses. This is the kind of love that marriage is designed to show off. [Run time - 23:56]

How to Deal with Sin

The good news is, you are already a sinner made righteous by Jesus, so there’s no need to win the fight. Now you are free to work towards reconciliation. [Run time - 29:04]

Communication & Conflict Management

With the theological understanding that you and your spouse are both sinners and saints, we offer some practical tools to work towards better communication. [Run time - 29:15]

Husbands

Jesus calls men to be the lead lover and lead relationship builder in the marriage. So, how do you lead your marriage? [Run time - 13:55]

WIVES

Culture says love should be unconditional but respect must be earned.  That’s not what Scripture says.  Respect is a command. So, how do we do that? [Run time - 22:51] 

A Covenant is for Keeping

Your marriage is not about you. You are not seeking to build a self contained, self sufficient unit but one overflowing with love. [Run time - 5:22]

Marriage Map

The Marriage Map worksheet offers weekly and monthly questions to check-in with your spouse regularly on your marital health. As you work through it keep in mind there’s no “right” way to use this tool; let the categories serve as a launching pad with what you want to discuss.

Also, make sure to talk through the Appreciation category before the Disclosure category rather than go straight to the Disclosure category. We’d also suggest using the script from the Disclosure category in order to more appropriately address any concerns you have.

Rule of Life

The Rule of Life tool offers a way for couples to literally be on the same page regarding what matters most, how to point one another to be with Jesus and be more like Him. As you work through this tool, get practical as to how you will each prioritize abiding with Jesus, staying tethered to church family, staying connected to one another, and more.

A Marriage You’d Actually Want

This 10-week series takes an honest look at marriage, unpacks God's intention for it, and paints the picture of a marriage you'd actually want.

Theology of Sex

This series spends seven weeks unpacking God’s design for gender and sexuality in an effort to understand ourselves, love our neighbor, and live out our mission.

How to Pray for and Serve our Medical Professionals

Medical Professionals Headers.jpg

In light of COVID-19, many members of our church family are currently serving on the front lines of this pandemic. What is a worldwide crisis is now effecting our city and the reality many people we know are putting themselves in harm’s way to treat others.

Below are some practical ways we can pray for them right now. We also conducted an interview with a medical professional and member of our church, Dr. Mark Humphrey, to help us learn more about this virus and how we can better serve them during this time. (You can find the audio and transcript further down on this page.)

  • For wisdom for our doctors to treat patients with COVID. This virus is so new with information changing daily, making it challenging to come up with a cohesive treatment plan.

  • For our medical professionals to find their rest in the Lord in all of this. Many are feeling the heaviness and feeling helpless in all of this.

  • To comfort patients who aren’t allowed to have visitors or see their families.

  • To comfort families of patients over the phone as much as possible. Since no visitors are allowed to visit patients, many family members are understandably upset.

  • For medical staff who are furloughed right now.

  • For equipment at the hospital to last through this pandemic and adequately protect them and patients. If equipment dwindles, our medical professionals will be forced to make difficult decisions regarding who to treat and who not to treat.

  • For LifeGroups and church family to regularly encourage our medical professionals in our church whether that’s through text, sending them an email or physical mail, dropping off groceries, etc.

  • For our church to do our part in loving our neighbors through social distancing to stop the spread of the virus

  • For the eradication of COVID-19

Transcript

Jake Blair: We wanted to do this interview, for one, to give us a better picture of [COVID-19] as a church family. And then two, to better know how to serve, pray, and love the people in our church family who are seeing this thing. 

Mark, what's it been like for you? Paint a picture for us of what your day looks like.

Mark Humphrey: So for me, I'm an outpatient family medicine doctor. I'm taking care of patients mostly in the outpatient setting, majority of the time, and then I do a little bit of inpatient work. So a couple of weeks ago, I did a some time in the hospital right before a lot of the a lot of the coronavirus issues came up but there were at least a few folks in the hospital where I worked that did have coronavirus, but then I shifted back to the outpatient setting and so while I don't interact with people that are known to have coronavirus on a day to day basis or currently we are still having that fear of a person walking in the door either hasn't told us the complete truth about all their symptoms, or that they are not feeling well and we need to evaluate them to see if they have coronavirus. 

And so for me, I'm dealing with anxiety . Am I going to, you know, get sick, or am I going to bring home the illness on my clothing back to my family, and be the one that makes them sick? And, you know, things I have to deal with as I'm a medical leader within our office. And so as the medical director of our practice, I need to everyday look through all the different leadership notes from the folks above me and to put together the things that I need to bring to my team so that they can feel confident in what we're doing for the day. And the past week, week and a half we've seen about a 40% reduction in people coming into the office, probably even greater than that because people are doing what they're supposed to be doing. They're staying home.

But that also means we've got to change how we take care of people and change very rapidly. And so along with the health systems in the area, deploying virtual programs and online platforms for folks to get care if they're worried about coronavirus, we're deploying telephone visits and video visits to help take care of people's everyday problems like diabetes, hypertension, heart disease and things like that. Our office is trying to think, “Okay, if our patients do get sick, we want them to have their regular illnesses be as best controlled as possible so that then they will have a better hopefully outcome if they get coronavirus.” So that's what we're thinking now. So my day starts at the house,  it's kind of quiet in the morning because my kids aren't going to school and so they sleep in and I can usually get up and be out the door. But then I'm on my way where usually the mornings are full of hustle and bustle. So it's a little bit quiet.

And then we lead off with time at work huddling with the teams and say, “Okay, here's what we're doing for the day.” And then I spend time putting out fires a lot, answering questions, how are we doing things differently, listening to team members, about their anxieties, trying to calm their anxieties, and then I get on the phone or get on the video cam, sort of like what we're doing now and talk to people about their current conditions.

And then go home and try to be a dad and a husband and, and do all that over again. In some ways, I feel like we're kind of in the movie Groundhog Day. And just as over and over again, you have to really be thinking hard about what day the week it is.

For me, I'm blessed that in the medical world, I'm not having to work most weekends, so I get to reset on the weekends. But, but yeah, there's a lot of anxiety at least in the beginning of this. And then I feel like I've appreciated the things that Midtown has done to stay connected and have the opportunity to recenter and realize God is in control and then bring that to my colleagues at work.

So those things are going on in the frontlines in my office. Next week, I'll be back in the hospital. And so I'll see, you know, what is it like there when there's more patients who actually had coronavirus? And then I know a lot of my colleagues are already serving those patients, and even know that some of the other folks in our church are on the frontlines taking care of those patients day in and day out. 

Jake: You were mentioning anxiety. How would you describe your colleagues who are also experiencing this right now in our city, would you say anxiety seems to be the overwhelming consensus going on?

Mark: I think that's definitely true. In the medical profession, we are used to having a fair amount of control. We're able to do interventions to control people's health, whether it's from diabetes to having heart attacks to having pneumonia from a bacterial cause we know how to take care of things and be in control. And while things are fairly well controlled right now with coronavirus, there's just a lot of preparation going on for when it could get out of control. And even in the midst of the control, there's a lot of unknown about this illness and a lot of anxiety. “Am I putting on my mask correctly? Am I taking it off correctly? am I wearing the right kind of protective equipment to go into a patient's room to make sure that we don't get ill ourselves?” So there's a lot of that control that we lose, and then that creates anxiety. 

Jake: What do we need to know about this virus? It feels like I hear rumors constantly every single day and at a certain point, it's just hard to keep track of any of it. And I know that part of what makes this such a scary thing is no one really knows exactly how this all works, and when it will all end, but from your expertise, what do we need to know and paint a picture for us as to what we're dealing with here? 

Mark: So I think that the hard thing is this illness on the surface is a lot like the flu, but the difference is, no one's had this before. And so while if you look at the flu each year, it kills people each year. People get sick, but there's enough people in the community that had that strain of flu before that it doesn't get too bad. The problem is, no one's had this strain of coronavirus. And from what we can tell currently is its actually more severe than flu, especially for people who have chronic conditions and are over the age of 60. So, the biggest issue is the fact that no one's had this strain of coronavirus before.

As for things you need to do, our public officials or public health officials are doing a good job. I think we actually need to listen. I think actually staying home, being out of crowded spaces as much as possible. When you're going to the store, be direct, and get the things you need. Get out. Don't take the whole family with you and try to limit the number of people going in and out.

They've today started saying maybe it'd be a good idea to wear a mask when you're going to be in those congregate settings. That wouldn't necessarily be a bad idea right now. What we're seeing as far as numbers, the hard thing is that the test is taking a little while to come back. And so these numbers are probably more representative of what things were a week ago, or a week and a half ago. And with so all the measures we're trying to make now are reacting to those numbers from a week and a half ago word actuality is probably more illness out there than we know.

So these next few weeks are actually going to be key markers to see how bad the transmission is and did these social distancing efforts actually work. What I've been told and read is that they're looking at the peak in South Carolina to be somewhere towards the end of April maybe the 27th 28th of April.

That means that that's gonna be the max number of cases and DHEC is said that somewhere around 8,000 people in South Carolina will have coronavirus by that time. That sounds like a large number but also compared to the size of population that's not horrible compared to other places in the country.

Again, leaders from the whole system have done analysis and worked with DHEC and looked to ask, “Okay, how many hospital beds do we have? How many ICU beds do we have? How many ventilators do we have?” And so under current projections, they think they will have enough hospital beds. But depending on severity of illness, there is some worry about enough ICU beds and enough ventilators. And so we really are trying to do our best right now for those that have chronic conditions. Those are over age 60, that they are getting those chronic conditions as controlled as possible. And then those folks are the ones that need to stay inside, you just stay away from other people as much as possible, limiting the number of interactions they have tightening their circle of people. Now, of course, we want interactions virtually, we don't want people to be socially isolated. But physical contact really needs to decrease especially these next two to three weeks. But the peak just means that that's gonna be the max amount, and that we will gradually still have people over that a few weeks after that. They'll have the issue.

And then we're also just studying around the world to see is this going be a one wave incident or and we'll be done like SARS a few years ago, or we'll have a reprieve in the summer and things in the fall, we'll come back, and we'll have to try something like this again. 

Jake: When you say the peak at the end of April, that is assuming all of us are doing our job to socially distance? 

Mark: Yeah, actually, if socially distancing works, that means that we're actually gonna be pushing the peak out further in time. And so it'll take longer for people to bump into each other to actually get the illness. So if we're doing a great job, and continue to be a little bit more physically distant from each other, it might push the peak further in April or maybe slightly into May, and that actually is an okay thing.

So that's not actually a bad thing if we can push the peak of it all because that means that we're slowing the rate of transmission. And that will allow folks to, if they're going to get ill, then we have the supplies at the hospitals to take care of them. Yeah.

Jake: How can we best serve you guys and love for y'all and pray for you guys? I know for me, control is a big issue with me as well. And I see everything that's going on and I just can't help but feel just totally helpless in all of this. And so I'm having to be reminded constantly: Prayer is how we acknowledge we are helpless in more ways than one and we have to take it to the Lord. So along with how can we pray for you, are there things specifically that our church family can be doing?

Mark: The first thing is, stay home and encourage your neighbors to stay home. If you've got folks that like to tailgate or something on your street, be kind, but ask them to disperse or if this confrontation has to occur, call the police. You don't need to get into a fight with anyone but encourage folks that they actually socially distance from each other.

I think the other thing is to think of ways you can help our families, because one of the things that occurs is that we're at work all the time. We're really focusing on our patients while we're there, and our families are having to sort of pick up the burden at home. So if you can think of ways that you can reach out and love on the families of healthcare workers would be super helpful because there's a lot of anxiety about if we will bring the illness home to our families. 

For example, Kim is able to now work from home, but she's still supposed to be working, yet with four kids trying to do e-learning is a challenge. And then also, they're a little bit bored, and they're needing things to do. And so what’s been helpful is a LifeGroup member, Jonathan, who's come over in the afternoons, (we try to keep the number of people who come over very small), but he comes over and will play with the kids go for bike rides and things like that, that help take that off of, of Kim and I. 

So look for ways whether it's dropping off some food, whatever it might be to help out families. 

And so the other thing I was mentioning was sending messages, whether that's virtual through Facebook, GroupMe, text. I even love physical mail. We got a letter from one of the college students who used to help babysit our kids during LifeGroup, who now because of coronavirus can't come help, but she wrote a physical letter to us and mailed it and that was really cool. That meant a lot. So those kinds of things would be great as well. 

Jake: To end our time would love to pray for you and to pray for everything that's going on. Like I said, so many of us feel so helpless and out of control. And we're reminded, this is why we pray to God.

Mark: Some of the things I was mentioning for prayer requests, particularly for those doctors who are working in the hospitals, if this gets potentially impactful as they might predict, they're gonna be some of our family members within Midtown. We're going to be having to talk to patients about patients, families that say, “Okay, we don't have a ventilator for your loved one,” and help them work through that. They're going to have to potentially work with families that are saying goodbye, or actually work with patients who are dying, but families can't be there because they're isolated. Those are sort of the people that we want to be lifting up and situations we want to lift up in the weeks to come.

Jake: Jesus, we acknowledge that you are in control, that you are sovereign, that when this pandemic struck, not too long ago, you were not caught off guard by that. And we're also reminded that you love us and that you tell us our eternity is secure. And so Jesus, we ask more than anything that we fix our eyes on you that we put our hope in you. In all of this as we are getting our control stripped away from us, that we acknowledge that ultimately you're the one that's in control. God, I thank you for Mark and all of the people that are in our church family and throughout the world who are in the medical profession right now on the front lines with this seeing it day in and day out. For the people who are fighting hard right now, to figure out a cure for this. Jesus, we lift all of that up to you. We pray that a cure can be found soon. We pray that you'd be with the doctors and the medical professionals who are having to deal with some really hard decisions, who are having to be with people and patients when they are feeling so lonely. Jesus, I thank you that so many of those people are in our church family who love you are your hands and feet right now to the sick and the dying. Jesus be with them and comfort them so that they can be with others and comfort others with what they are going through. Jesus we are praying for the day that the pandemic would end that we could be together again as a church family that we can gather together and hug one another. In the meantime, we cling to you so desperately in all of this. We trust you. We love you. In your name we pray. Amen.


Resources for Holy Week

Resrouces Header.jpg

Starting Monday, April 6 we usher into Holy Week - the time in the church calendar where we slowly reflect on the last days leading up to Jesus’ death and resurrection. Below are some sermons from Desiring God to better prepare your heart this week.

Also check out our sermons from our Luke series:

Palm Sunday:

Reflect today on these messages.

"Hosanna" - John 12:13

“...when we sing "Hosanna" now, let's make it very personal. Let's make it our praise and our confidence. The Son of David has come. He has saved us from guilt and fear and hopelessness. Salvation! Salvation belongs to our God and to the Son! Hosanna! Hosanna in the highest!”

"The Sovereign Sacrifice: Foreknown, Foretold, For Faith" - John 13:12-20

“Believer, be strong. There is good reason to stand with Jesus and to live for him this week.”

Maundy Thursday:

Reflect today on this message.

"Being Loved by Christ" - John 13:1:

“This is what we long for, and this is what we have by faith—an experience of being loved with a love that lasts, that is not fickle, or uncertain, or capricious, but durable, constant, stable.”

Good Friday:

Reflect today on this message.

"The Third Word From the Cross" - John 19:26-27 

“If Jesus could provide for the needs of his own in the moment of his greatest weakness and humiliation, how much more can he provide for your need in his present wealth of power and exaltation”

Easter:

For Easter Sunday, we invite each LifeGroup to participate at 6:15am via Zoom or Google hangouts to have a watch party together. At the end of the Easter Sunday sermon, we will invite everyone to go outside to enjoy the sunrise together as a church family.

In addition, you can reflect on these messages. 

"Jesus is Alive to Serve" - John 11:15:

“...because he has overcome death, we can overcome death by faith in him.”

"Irrevocable Joy" - John 16:22

“Joy in being with Jesus is an unbroken line from now to eternity. It will not be cut off by his death or ours.”

"I Have Seen the Lord" - John 20:1-23

“...this world that we love so much, compared to [the new heavens and new earth], will be like a candle compared to the sun”

Below are some extra teachings out of the Gospel of John that connected to pain and suffering and the call to love one another. We found this encouraging and applicable in light of the pandemic.

Additional Resources:

Below are some extra teachings out of the Gospel of John that are connected to pain and suffering and the call to love one another. We found this encouraging and applicable in light of the pandemic.

Look at the book (3 parts) John 11

Part 1: "How Do We Read the Bible Stories

Part 2: "Why Did Jesus Let Lazarus Die?

Part 3: "God's Love Allows Pain and Loss

Sermons:

"Even When it Hurts: How God Reveals Himself in Pain and Loss" - John 11:1-6 

"This Illness is for the Glory of God" - John 11:1-16

Handling Finances in a Pandemic

Handing Finances Header.jpg

If you haven’t been already, each of us will in some way be affected by the economic decline caused by the novel coronavirus. Jesus calls us not to live in fear, but to trust that He will provide all that we need to glorify Him (Philippians 4:19). In light of this, how should we think about the finances that have been entrusted to us by the Lord in the days ahead?

A. If you have lost or are expecting to lose income

  1. Let your LifeGroup know and visit our needs page to request financial assistance. We are here to come alongside and support you.

  2. In the coming days, depending on your level of income and the number of people in your household, you will be receiving a stimulus check as a result of the recent CARES Act passed by Congress. Use this money to meet your basic needs (i.e. food, housing, utilities, healthcare, transportation).

  3. If you have not already, use this tool to rebuild your budget for a crisis.

  4. If you have an emergency fund of 3 to 6 months of essential living costs saved, now is a good time to use this money. If you don’t have an emergency fund, save as you are able to build one.

  5. Leave any retirement or other investment accounts alone. Although some penalties are being deferred on early retirement withdrawals right now as a result of the CARES Act, this should be avoided. Ultimately, withdrawing money early is putting yourself into debt and will be harmful to you in the long run.

B. If your income level has not changed

  1. The temptation to hoard and self-protect is even greater now than it normally is in our culture. This is a great time to be a light to our culture that our hope is not in money, but in Jesus. Our desire is to be like the church seen in Acts 2:42-47 and 2 Corinthians 8:1-15 where the church was sharing and meeting one another’s needs as anyone had any.

  2. Many of us are working from home, which has decreased our overall cost of living expenses. This is a great time to increase generosity in your life and make cuts on nonessential spending. Continue to tithe or start tithing if you aren’t already. Visit our needs page to see additional ways you can offer support. Share what you have with others around you that are in need. Support local small businesses that are struggling financially. Reach out to a missionary to see if they need additional support.

  3. Again, depending on your level of income and number of people in your household, you will also be receiving a stimulus check from the government. If your essentials are met and you have money saved for an emergency, consider giving to someone who may be in greater need than you at this time.

Regardless of your current financial situation, we would encourage you to use Midtown’s daily Lent Guide as we practice fasting corporately during the Lent season. Make a daily practice of thanking God for his specific provision to you each day and for his ultimate provision in giving us his best in Jesus.

Additionally, here are a few resources to help you think through how to manage your finances in the midst of a crisis:

  1. Steps for Preparing a Crisis Budget (Crown Financial)

  2. What to do if you’re out of work or miss a paycheck (Financial Peace)

  3. Generosity in a Time of Hoarding (Gospel Coalition)

  4. Generosity | Following Jesus Together

Psalm 13 with Pastor Jon

Psalm 13 Header.jpg

Transcript:

Hey church family, we almost taught on Psalm 13 this last Sunday and even though we changed directions, I thought it would still be an encouraging devotional for us in the midst of the ever changing Covid-19 pandemic situation we find ourselves in. In times of suffering and trial, Christians have consistently turned to the Psalms in every difficult situation. As Athanasius of Alexandria, one of the ancient church fathers wrote, “Whatever your particular need or trouble, from [the Psalms] you can find a form of words to fit it, [and] learn the way to remedy your ill.”

If you’ve got a Bible, grab it and open up to Psalm 13. Feel free to pause this video right now and read through the short 6 verses of the Psalm on your own.  [[Pause]]

The Psalm is set up in 3 sets of 2 verse pairs and there’s a progression from one pair to the next. The first pair starts with David coming to God, no holds barred, crying out, pouring out his heart to the Lord. I’m going to break down these 5 or 6 questions he volleys at the Lord and we’ll see how his questions reflect and relate to some of our questions. V. 1

Pouring Out Questions

Psalm 13:1-6

1 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?

Suffering has this strange ability to play with time. It can stretch time making a moment feel like forever. Can also shrink it, making time feel like sand slipping through our hands. But for David, This moment feels like it won’t quit. It feels like forever. “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?” He doesn’t know how long his suffering will endure. And he doesn’t know how long he can endure in the midst of it. 

For us here and now, in the midst of this pandemic - none of us know how long this season will last? We can easily join David in crying out to God, “how long, O Lord?” But this isn’t just a simple matter of time for David… Look back at v. 1

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?

David’s pain and suffering is having a profound spiritual effect. God, you’re hiding your face from me. You’re forgetting about me. Like we do so often, David is interpreting God love and relational posture towards him, based on his circumstances. While this is backwards and David knows this, right here it doesn’t matter. He’ll recover his theological bearings soon enough. But for now He’s coming to God honest. He’s pouring it all out. V. 2 is a two part question: 

2 How long must I take counsel in my soul?

This a profound statement of isolation. I have no one else to counsel with. How long? No one who understands what I’m going through.

Once again I see some direct connection to our current circumstance. I love to see the ways our church family is fighting to stay connected, using technology, virtual meetings, etc. in the midst of our social distancing. But the truth is our isolation is more than physical. None of us knows exactly what is the wisest course for ourselves or our family. The experts can’t fully agree on how long this will last. There are all kinds of implications for what our lives will look like next week, next month, next year. 

I love that in times like these God invites us to come find wisdom from Him (James 1:5 and Proverbs 2:6). He is our great counselor who is never at a loss for what the right next move is. As we just read in the Lent guide, He gives us His Spirit to lead us into the truth.

I’d also encourage us to prayerfully consider who may be feeling even more isolated than you. Who have you not seen or heard from? Who deals with depression or anxiety and might not have the energy to reach out right now? Ok vs. 2:

2 How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day?

How long must I have sorrow in my heart all the day? David says, God everywhere I look, there’s sadness and sorrow without end. Uncertainty and pain. Confusion and deep sadness. There is a moment where sadness sets it’s hooks deep in our hearts and minds and we call it despair or depression. Things we normally love lose their appeal. Simple tasks start to feel impossible. If you think you might be dealing with any depression in the midst of these circumstances, please tell someone in your LG. 

How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?

The final question David asks how long will my enemy be exalted over me? How long will the bad guys be winning God? 

Our current situation is pretty different as we have an invisible enemy of a virus and incredibly complex challenges of what is the wise thing to do in the face of this? But while our enemy isn’t a visible soldier, we can still relate to David’s sense of helplessness and vulnerability. 

And if we looked at those two verses alone we would see that we are invited to take our questions, our doubts, our frustrations in their unbridled rawness straight to God. To wrestle with Him. Like David we have plenty of unanswered questions. And that by itself is a good encouragement.... But we wouldn’t have a lot of hope, and while some Psalms do end there, this one doesn’t. 

In each set of two verses we’ll see David’s tone change as God’s presence and character moves more and more into focus. 

Shifting Toward Reorienting

3 Consider and answer me, O Lord my God;

    light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,

4 lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,”

    lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.

David is still aware of the threat, but his tone has softened. The despair of the first two verses shifts towards the realization that God is his hope. The Lord he’s ranting at in vs. 1 becomes O Lord my God in v. 3. MY God. He’s remembering God is His and he is God’s. He’s starting to reorient. His petition is now for God to consider and answer and light up his eyes, so he doesn’t give in to death or despair. 

The crisis hasn’t passed, but David’s outlook of the future now includes God’s presence. 

This is a fundamental shift when we’re struggling the most. A Godless view is despair. 

Trying to fight or hope in the face of a world entirely out of our control... that can only lead to despair… but as soon as we remember God is not out of control, He’s not praying for wisdom or strength because He doesn’t lack either… our view shifts. 

We can still admit the situation is large but with the perspective that it isn’t larger than God or His purposes. And just as David goes from questioning to reorienting, so likewise, it's not enough to stay stuck in questioning mode. there comes a point where we like David must begin to ground ourselves back to who God is.

In the final 2 verses, David reorients fully back to trust and gratitude. 

Remember and Rejoice

5 But I have trusted in your steadfast love;

    my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.

6 I will sing to the Lord,

    because he has dealt bountifully with me.

How did David move from the desperate, hopeless questioning in v. 1 and 2 to the trusting, rejoicing and singing 3 verses later? 

God isn’t just in his view now. God has absorbed the whole picture. David’s focus has shifted primarily to God’s character; His steadfast love, His salvation… and David concludes, “The Lord has dealt bountifully with me.”

When I read this phrase dealt bountifully - I think about the phrase “more than enough”. The reality that what God has done for me and how He has treated me is already more than enough. Far more than I deserve. 

If God never does anything else for me the rest of my life, what He’s already done is more than enough. If all the circumstances fall apart and this pandemic only gets worse forever, how God has loved me has already been more than enough. He’s already done more than enough to be worthy of my songs. Worthy of my trust. Worthy of rejoicing. 

This is how Paul can say in Philippians he knows how to be content in any and all circumstances. God’s already given Him Christ and that is more than enough. This is why 1 Thessalonians calls us to rejoice always, pray continually and give thanks in all circumstances. 

It’s not possible unless you know and remember dwell on the reality that He has already done more than enough. 

I have no false promises for you. I do now know when or how our circumstances might change. I wish I did. 

But I know God’s steadfast love for you. I know the cross and Jesus’ empty tomb is proof. And I know His salvation is more than enough.

Love ya’ll and praying for ya.

How to Socially Distance without Social Isolation

How to Distance Header.jpg

In the midst of a pandemic, an economic recession is not just a distant concern for many people, but rather an imminent reality. Unfortunately, just as social distancing can lead to economic recession, it can also lead to a “social recession.” As our governments debate drastic measures to curb an economic recession, how can we as a church family fight to keep the necessary social distancing measures from leading to a “social recession” in our community? 

1. Make a Plan 

It can be easy in this season to drift into isolation. To fight our natural inclination towards apathy, it’s important to make a social plan for your day. If you haven’t yet, check out our “Developing a Rule of Life” resource to help get you started. Some things to make a plan for include:

  • Who will I reach out to daily? (coworkers, LifeGroup, family members, missional friends)

  • How can I regularly spend time with Jesus? (reading Scripture, listening to worship music, journaling, prayer)

  • How can I use my time well? (going on walks, activities with children, cleaning, virtual hang outs)   

You and your LifeGroup might also use this time to make a plan to check in on one another. Ideas can include:

  • Ask LifeGroup members to call two people in the group per day

    • You or a core group member could set up assigned dates and people or the members can develop their own system

  • Alternatively, create “check in” partners so everyone is connecting with someone on a daily basis 

    • Mix them up on a weekly or half-weekly basis so your group gets to know each other better

2. Get Creative with Technology

Social distancing is hard, but today we have the unprecedented advantage of technology. Here are some ways to use technology to continue to gather with your community. 

  • Video Chat Software: There are several great video chat softwares available, including Zoom, Facetime, Google Hangouts, Marco Polo and Skype. You can play a board game, have a children’s play date, do an exercise video, or even have a virtual coffee date with friends all over video chat.

  • Rhythm Substitutes: Even though we can’t physically be together, here are some current ways you may substitute your time together. (If you have more ideas, we’d love to hear them.)

    • Netflix Party Extension: This browser extension allows you to watch Netflix together with a group chat. 

    • House Party App and JackBox: You can video chat with a group while playing a variety of games, including trivia and a game similar to “Apples to Apples.”

  • Be Tech Support for the Vulnerable: The truth is that some of the most vulnerable people in our community are also the least technologically savvy. The poor and the elderly are statistically less likely to have internet at all, much less have experience using apps or software. Reach out to the vulnerable people in your life and offer to walk them through how to use the technology available to us, including everything from video chat to online food and grocery delivery.

3. Be Honest with God and Others

Dietrich Bonhoeffer in Life Together talks about the danger of misplaced, uncommunicated expectations in community: "Every human wish dream that is injected into the Christian community is a hindrance to genuine community and must be banished if genuine community is to survive. He who loves his dream of a community more than the Christian community itself becomes a destroyer of the latter, even though his personal intentions may be ever so honest and earnest and sacrificial." [1]

In other words, we are wired to be relational creatures and sin can easily have us drift into unspoken expectations that can easily fester into resentment, bitterness, and social isolation. If you feel loneliness creep in ask yourself, “Am I taking my relational needs to God first?” “Are my relational expectations I have on others biblical,  realistic, and has been previously communicated to them?” “Am I doing my part to actively engage with others as well?” “Is there any resentment that I need to repent to God before I communicate my relational need to LifeGroup?”0

As we struggle in the fight against loneliness, the Lord promises us that he not only sees our sorrow, but that he is there with us in the midst of pain and suffering (Psalm 56:8). We also know that whatever happens in this broken world, one day we will spend eternity in a place with no suffering, loneliness, or depression. Right now we’re running the race and encouraging others to run with us (Hebrews 12:1), but our victory is already won. By being “alone together,” we can not only prevent the spread of disease, but also prevent the spread of social isolation in our church family and community.

——-

[1] - For more on this, check out our resource “The Five Stages of Community (or Why the Unicorn Must Die)” at FollowingJesusTogether.com

Reaching Out to Those Vulnerable to the Coronavirus

Reaching Out Header.jpg

We want to take a few minutes to help our family with a few practical thoughts on how to reach out to folks who are vulnerable, or who have become sick.

Let’s define a few terms, first.

  • Social Distancing - Staying ~6ft from others and avoiding unnecessary shopping trips & social gatherings. This is something that the CDC has recommended all Americans practice.

  • Self-Quarantine - Staying away from others and only going out when absolutely necessary (e.g. for groceries or medicine). Currently, the CDC recommends this for people who are higher-risk, or have had direct contact with someone who has tested positive for coronavirus disease.

When someone in your LifeGroup tests positive for the coronavirus disease, you have a wonderful opportunity to serve them by buying groceries & delivering them to their doorstep, cooking meals for them, and helping them to recover quickly. Continue reaching out to them as they are able, and have someone from your group check in on them daily, if not more often. 

Someone who tests positive should be kept in a room to themselves, and meals should be delivered to their door, but not with direct contact. When someone is ready to eat, make a plate for them and set it outside their door - don’t bring it into them. Make sure to wash your hands after doing any laundry or dishes that the person who has been infected has touched. Also, it’s a good practice to disinfect any surfaces that the sick person has touched, including doorknobs, sinks, and toilets. 

Work with your LifeGroup leader to make sure that needs are being met, and remind your LifeGroup leader to let their coach know when someone in their group contracts the virus.

Finally, during this time of quarantine, phone calls/Google hangouts can be a way to stay connected without risking infection. It’s easy to stigmatize those who are sick, but it’s important to remember that the virus doesn’t target specific people, and all of us are at risk.

For more practical tips, check out our resource “Socially Distancing without Socially Isolating.

Resisting Anxiety in Historically Anxious Times

Resisting Anxiety Header.jpg

“US surgeon general warns ‘This week is going to get bad’.”

“Coronavirus: Young people are not ‘Invincible’, WHO warns”

“The Coronavirus Recession could become a Depression”

These are just a few headlines that seem to be circulating everywhere. It seems impossible to go a few hours without a new update that includes news that will drastically affect how we live. Google feeds are littered with information and stats about each state's growing caseload. Check your social media, it seems like every other post is a shared article or opinion about what’s going on (and for some reason they’re all unhelpful). 

Internally, we’ve got dozens of unanswered questions: 

Am I going to make it financially?

Have I been exposed? 

What happens if I get sick? 

When will it be normal again?

We’re in a pandemic. In the past 100 years, there have been a handful of pandemics, but this one is making history. Everything has been affected. The situation seems to shift daily. Even though pandemics are not a new thing, we are experiencing something for the first time in our lifetimes. It’s impossible to know all of the answers, but the cumulative effect of our questions and climate spell out one thing:

Anxiety.

For many of us, this is a nightmare. We don’t have the answers, so we imagine all of the possible outcomes, many of which are not good. We fear what may happen if our hours get cut even more or if we’re unemployed for a season. Graduating students don’t know what comes next. Parents are at a loss as their family’s routine has been shattered, kicked, and thrown off a bridge. For others, this season reminds us of the frailty of life, and that’s really scary.

At the heart of our anxiety is the question, “Am I going to be okay?” In a pandemic like this, we literally have no idea what tomorrow brings. We don’t know when it will be normal again or if we will get sick. We don’t feel secure. We don’t have control and we don’t have the answers. 

But we do have something. Christians have a God that is present. We have a God who knows all of the answers. He is in control and He cares.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

1 Peter 5:6-7

Our response in a pandemic is to draw near to God. A Christian’s hope and peace doesn’t have to be founded on answers. Nor does it need to be rooted in our circumstances or in the amount of control we have over them. We cast all of our anxieties on Him because He cares for us. 

The beauty of the Gospel is displayed during anxiety-filled seasons. God doesn’t just say He cares, He shows us. We have a story. The God of the universe lowered Himself to the form of a man, lived a perfect, sinless life, and died the death that we deserved. Jesus was abandoned by the Father on the cross, an agonizing event that He could’ve turned away from. But He didn’t. He stayed.

When Jesus stayed on the cross, He showed us how trustworthy He really is. On the cross Jesus purchased our eternal security. We’re His people, forever. 

We may feel insecure today, but our eternity is secure. We may not know if we or those we love will get sick, but we do know the God who will be there with us. We may not know how long this season will last, but we do know that God is unchanging and loves us. We may not know where the next paycheck will come from, but we do know that God can and will provide. 

We take our anxieties to Him. We pray. He knows everything. We ask Him for what we need. We can trust God to take care of us now because He has already taken care of our eternity. 

We have a foundation to stand on and we have steps to take. Jesus has not only given us truth to cling to, He has also given us real ways to fight our anxiety. We fight our anxiety by bringing the Gospel into our daily lives. The way we do this is through spiritual disciplines and practices[1]. 1 Peter 5:7 tells us to “cast our anxiety onto Him.” We have practices that help us live out what the Scriptures are talking about. Here are three ways that we can go to Jesus in our anxiety:

  1. Pray - Talk with God. Although it may feel like He’s distant, His word tells us He’s not. He’s with us and loves us. We can be honest with Him, wherever we’re at. In our anxiety we may want to turn away from Him, but He invites us to come to Him. Tell Him how you feel. Tell Him your worries. He knows them all and cares for you.

  2. Lectio Divina - This is a practice where we read and meditate on God’s word. We enter into God’s presence by reading, reflecting, responding, and resting. Take a passage like Psalm 23 or Matthew 11:28-30. Lectio Divina allows us to sit in the truth. We get to pause and let the reality of who God is sink into our hearts. We can let His word guide our minds in this difficult season. When anxiety hits, we forget and doubt the character of God. We forget the Gospel. Practices like Lectio Divina allow us to sit in God’s word and let Him remind of us who He is. You can find the specific instructions here.  

  3. Daily Examen - The examen prayer is meant to be practiced at the end of each day, looking back and discerning God’s activity with an aim to grow in deeper awareness for the next day. In our anxiety we can lose sight of where God is. We start to only think about what we can do. In practicing this daily, we’re able to see God’s presence more clearly in our lives. The examen prayer can allow us to see the reality that God is active in our lives and this is exactly what our anxious spirits need. You can find specific instructions here. 

In our anxiety, what we actually need is the Gospel. We need a faithful God to cling to, because everything else will not hold. We need a God that we can trust. The Gospel is our proof. We had no hope and no security, but Jesus delivered when we needed Him most. We can turn to Him now, casting our anxiety onto Him, because He cares and will never change.


[1] For more on spiritual practices and formation, go to FollowingJesusTogether.com

Practical Guide for Worshipping at Home

PracticalGuide.jpg

Each week we are providing a Worship Guide for you, your family, and your LifeGroup to walk through. To familiarize yourself with the Sunday Worship Guide, consider the following tips before you start:

Review the content beforehand

Take a few minutes to look over the content so you can lead well.

Pick a time

Schedule ahead of time when you’re going to do Sunday Worship, place it on your calendar and stick to it.

You Need a Screen

Even if it’s a laptop, make sure the screen is viewable to everyone in the room

You Need Internet

Make sure to pull up all links and have them ready (sermon and songs)

Put Away Devices

Assign Roles

Plan ahead for who will lead each part of the guide. The Worship Guide is simple enough, all they need to do is read that portion out loud.

Have a Plan for the Kids

If they are old enough, have them lead/read appropriate portions of the guide.

If they are too young for that, have them listen for key words in the sermon, like "Jesus", and tally the number of times they hear those words. If they are too young for that, just do your best!


Do you have other practical tips? Share them with us!

Developing a Daily Rule of Life While on Lockdown

Developing a Rule Header.jpg

Print/Download Daily Rule of Life template - (Google Drive | PDF)

...we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us. We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul...

Hebrews 6:18-19

In light of the global pandemic that is COVID-19 and the recent limiting of all gatherings over 10 people, it’s easy to get bored, burnt out, or stir-crazy. Hebrews 6 reminds us though that one thing we can hold fast to is the presence and power of Jesus.

One ancient tool to hold fast to Him is a rule of life. 

A rule of life is a practical way to schedule the coming days around what matters most: the teachings and practices of Jesus. One author calls developing a rule of life as living with “a well-ordered heart.” Right now when it feels like everything is disordered and the world is shifting every day, one thing we can bring into order is our inner lives. Keeping a rule of life is one way we do just that.

Note, these are not “rules for life,” with an emphasis on “if I don’t do this, Jesus will love me less.” Rather, a rule of life is grounded in the reality that you are already loved and accepted by the God of the universe, and this tool simply creates a framework to build spiritual practices into your life so you can experience His love in your life every day.

While this tool slightly varies from tradition to tradition, developing a rule of life typically includes three main things to anchor your day: [1]

  • Abiding: how you will spend time with Jesus (Bible reading, prayer, confession, singing)

  • Resting: how you will rest (sleep, Sabbath, exercise, limiting screen time/escapist tendencies)

  • Community: how you will spend time with others (family, LifeGroups, missional friendships)

It’s also important to note that a rule of life is meant to work for you, with lots of flexibility to accommodate your season of life. So, for example, if you’re single and live alone, your rule of life will look different than a college student, or parents with young kids, or an empty nester. Likewise, your wiring will impact how you write your rule of life. If you think more big picture, this will reflect itself in your rule of life. If you’re more detail-oriented, it will be more helpful for you to get very practical as you write your rule of life.

A final word on rule of life, try not to introduce too many new practices at once. Instead, create small “wins” that are attainable to create both momentum and sustainability in your spiritual formation. After writing your rule of life, ask your LifeGroup to give you feedback.

Below are some examples of what a daily rule of life can look like during the quarantine, followed by a template to help you get started. Once you’ve written out your daily rule of life, put it somewhere visible - your bathroom mirror, your fridge, your phone’s lock screen - and email us here so we can share our ideas with one another.

Lastly, if you’re new to the spiritual practices, check out FollowingJesusTogether.com

Print/Download Daily Rule of Life template - (Google Drive | PDF)

Daily Rule of Life for Singles - Example 

Abiding

  • Wake up at the same time every day, make coffee, spend time with Jesus in Scripture and prayer (currently using the Lent Guide) before looking at my phone 

  • Examen Prayer before bed 

Rest

  • Limit entertainment - social media two days a week (Instagram Mondays and Facebook Fridays), watch TV and movies with friends -- try not to binge TV alone 

  • Put my phone in the kitchen before I get ready for bed, try to be asleep by 11pm

Community

  • Daily walk with a friend who lives close 

  • Porch dinners with my neighbor

  • Call, FaceTime, or Marco Polo with a good friend

  • Check in with someone from LifeGroup

Daily Rule of Life for Marrieds with Kids - Example

(see also Parenting Resources)

Abiding 

  • Wake up before kids to work through the Lent Guide 

  • Spend some time praying for our family to make it through the day

  • Examen Prayer with spouse each night

Rest

  • If possible, 7-8 hours of sleep, try to be in bed by 10 - wind-down away from phone for last 30 minutes 

  • 20 minutes of exercise each day - jog or walk around the neighborhood

  • Check the news once a day 

Community

  • No phone when with kids from 4pm-bedtime

  • Sync-up with spouse for 15 minutes without screens each day

  • Play with all the kids for at least an hour to give spouse time to abide and rest

  • Check-in with LifeGroup 


A great book to familiarize yourself with rule of life is The Common Rule by Justin Earley.


 [1] You can find a full version of a rule of life template with categories here - midtowncolumbia.com/blog/developing-a-rule-of-life