Marriage Resources

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TEACHING | RELATED WORKSHEETS | RELATED SERMONS

As of the time writing this post, we are nearing the end of week 8 in quarantine. For married couples, you’ve never spent this time together…ever. You might be running out of Netflix shows to watch, tired from going on so many walks outside, exhausted from your kids or all of the above.

So during this time, we wanted to provide these marriage resources for you to invest in your marriage. The following videos were filmed during our weekend Marriage Conference in February 2020. Before you begin watching these, go ahead and put the kids to bed, set your phones down in another room, and carve out some intentional time to watch these with your spouse. Try to work on just one video per night as there’s a lot of information to unpack in each one.

At the end of each video ask your spouse, “What was one thing that stood out to you from the video?” And, “What’s one thing we can take from that video to invest in our marriage?”

So grab a bottle of wine, get a pen and paper out, take some notes, and have fun!

Part 1

Sex in a Covenant

Marriage covenant involves two becoming one. A single unit, socially, emotionally, economically, spiritually, legally. It means that every aspect of life is joined with your spouse. [Run time - 24:33]

Some Practical Help for Sex

With a theological understanding of sex in marriage, we want to shift to some practical help on how to move in that direction. [Run time - 18:45]

9 Enemies of Sex

The truth is, there are forces and circumstances both physical and spiritual that keep us from being united with our spouse in sex. [Run time - 37:40]


Part 2

American Marriage vs Covenant Marriage

For Americans, marriage is a contract. When it gets tough, you find a new contract partner. But for Christians, as we see in Scripture, marriage is a covenant. [Run time - 16:13]

Love the One You’re With

Jesus love for us is unconditional. He loves us knowing full well our sin and weaknesses. This is the kind of love that marriage is designed to show off. [Run time - 23:56]

How to Deal with Sin

The good news is, you are already a sinner made righteous by Jesus, so there’s no need to win the fight. Now you are free to work towards reconciliation. [Run time - 29:04]

Communication & Conflict Management

With the theological understanding that you and your spouse are both sinners and saints, we offer some practical tools to work towards better communication. [Run time - 29:15]

Husbands

Jesus calls men to be the lead lover and lead relationship builder in the marriage. So, how do you lead your marriage? [Run time - 13:55]

WIVES

Culture says love should be unconditional but respect must be earned.  That’s not what Scripture says.  Respect is a command. So, how do we do that? [Run time - 22:51] 

A Covenant is for Keeping

Your marriage is not about you. You are not seeking to build a self contained, self sufficient unit but one overflowing with love. [Run time - 5:22]

Marriage Map

The Marriage Map worksheet offers weekly and monthly questions to check-in with your spouse regularly on your marital health. As you work through it keep in mind there’s no “right” way to use this tool; let the categories serve as a launching pad with what you want to discuss.

Also, make sure to talk through the Appreciation category before the Disclosure category rather than go straight to the Disclosure category. We’d also suggest using the script from the Disclosure category in order to more appropriately address any concerns you have.

Rule of Life

The Rule of Life tool offers a way for couples to literally be on the same page regarding what matters most, how to point one another to be with Jesus and be more like Him. As you work through this tool, get practical as to how you will each prioritize abiding with Jesus, staying tethered to church family, staying connected to one another, and more.

A Marriage You’d Actually Want

This 10-week series takes an honest look at marriage, unpacks God's intention for it, and paints the picture of a marriage you'd actually want.

Theology of Sex

This series spends seven weeks unpacking God’s design for gender and sexuality in an effort to understand ourselves, love our neighbor, and live out our mission.

How to Pray for and Serve our Medical Professionals

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In light of COVID-19, many members of our church family are currently serving on the front lines of this pandemic. What is a worldwide crisis is now effecting our city and the reality many people we know are putting themselves in harm’s way to treat others.

Below are some practical ways we can pray for them right now. We also conducted an interview with a medical professional and member of our church, Dr. Mark Humphrey, to help us learn more about this virus and how we can better serve them during this time. (You can find the audio and transcript further down on this page.)

  • For wisdom for our doctors to treat patients with COVID. This virus is so new with information changing daily, making it challenging to come up with a cohesive treatment plan.

  • For our medical professionals to find their rest in the Lord in all of this. Many are feeling the heaviness and feeling helpless in all of this.

  • To comfort patients who aren’t allowed to have visitors or see their families.

  • To comfort families of patients over the phone as much as possible. Since no visitors are allowed to visit patients, many family members are understandably upset.

  • For medical staff who are furloughed right now.

  • For equipment at the hospital to last through this pandemic and adequately protect them and patients. If equipment dwindles, our medical professionals will be forced to make difficult decisions regarding who to treat and who not to treat.

  • For LifeGroups and church family to regularly encourage our medical professionals in our church whether that’s through text, sending them an email or physical mail, dropping off groceries, etc.

  • For our church to do our part in loving our neighbors through social distancing to stop the spread of the virus

  • For the eradication of COVID-19

Transcript

Jake Blair: We wanted to do this interview, for one, to give us a better picture of [COVID-19] as a church family. And then two, to better know how to serve, pray, and love the people in our church family who are seeing this thing. 

Mark, what's it been like for you? Paint a picture for us of what your day looks like.

Mark Humphrey: So for me, I'm an outpatient family medicine doctor. I'm taking care of patients mostly in the outpatient setting, majority of the time, and then I do a little bit of inpatient work. So a couple of weeks ago, I did a some time in the hospital right before a lot of the a lot of the coronavirus issues came up but there were at least a few folks in the hospital where I worked that did have coronavirus, but then I shifted back to the outpatient setting and so while I don't interact with people that are known to have coronavirus on a day to day basis or currently we are still having that fear of a person walking in the door either hasn't told us the complete truth about all their symptoms, or that they are not feeling well and we need to evaluate them to see if they have coronavirus. 

And so for me, I'm dealing with anxiety . Am I going to, you know, get sick, or am I going to bring home the illness on my clothing back to my family, and be the one that makes them sick? And, you know, things I have to deal with as I'm a medical leader within our office. And so as the medical director of our practice, I need to everyday look through all the different leadership notes from the folks above me and to put together the things that I need to bring to my team so that they can feel confident in what we're doing for the day. And the past week, week and a half we've seen about a 40% reduction in people coming into the office, probably even greater than that because people are doing what they're supposed to be doing. They're staying home.

But that also means we've got to change how we take care of people and change very rapidly. And so along with the health systems in the area, deploying virtual programs and online platforms for folks to get care if they're worried about coronavirus, we're deploying telephone visits and video visits to help take care of people's everyday problems like diabetes, hypertension, heart disease and things like that. Our office is trying to think, “Okay, if our patients do get sick, we want them to have their regular illnesses be as best controlled as possible so that then they will have a better hopefully outcome if they get coronavirus.” So that's what we're thinking now. So my day starts at the house,  it's kind of quiet in the morning because my kids aren't going to school and so they sleep in and I can usually get up and be out the door. But then I'm on my way where usually the mornings are full of hustle and bustle. So it's a little bit quiet.

And then we lead off with time at work huddling with the teams and say, “Okay, here's what we're doing for the day.” And then I spend time putting out fires a lot, answering questions, how are we doing things differently, listening to team members, about their anxieties, trying to calm their anxieties, and then I get on the phone or get on the video cam, sort of like what we're doing now and talk to people about their current conditions.

And then go home and try to be a dad and a husband and, and do all that over again. In some ways, I feel like we're kind of in the movie Groundhog Day. And just as over and over again, you have to really be thinking hard about what day the week it is.

For me, I'm blessed that in the medical world, I'm not having to work most weekends, so I get to reset on the weekends. But, but yeah, there's a lot of anxiety at least in the beginning of this. And then I feel like I've appreciated the things that Midtown has done to stay connected and have the opportunity to recenter and realize God is in control and then bring that to my colleagues at work.

So those things are going on in the frontlines in my office. Next week, I'll be back in the hospital. And so I'll see, you know, what is it like there when there's more patients who actually had coronavirus? And then I know a lot of my colleagues are already serving those patients, and even know that some of the other folks in our church are on the frontlines taking care of those patients day in and day out. 

Jake: You were mentioning anxiety. How would you describe your colleagues who are also experiencing this right now in our city, would you say anxiety seems to be the overwhelming consensus going on?

Mark: I think that's definitely true. In the medical profession, we are used to having a fair amount of control. We're able to do interventions to control people's health, whether it's from diabetes to having heart attacks to having pneumonia from a bacterial cause we know how to take care of things and be in control. And while things are fairly well controlled right now with coronavirus, there's just a lot of preparation going on for when it could get out of control. And even in the midst of the control, there's a lot of unknown about this illness and a lot of anxiety. “Am I putting on my mask correctly? Am I taking it off correctly? am I wearing the right kind of protective equipment to go into a patient's room to make sure that we don't get ill ourselves?” So there's a lot of that control that we lose, and then that creates anxiety. 

Jake: What do we need to know about this virus? It feels like I hear rumors constantly every single day and at a certain point, it's just hard to keep track of any of it. And I know that part of what makes this such a scary thing is no one really knows exactly how this all works, and when it will all end, but from your expertise, what do we need to know and paint a picture for us as to what we're dealing with here? 

Mark: So I think that the hard thing is this illness on the surface is a lot like the flu, but the difference is, no one's had this before. And so while if you look at the flu each year, it kills people each year. People get sick, but there's enough people in the community that had that strain of flu before that it doesn't get too bad. The problem is, no one's had this strain of coronavirus. And from what we can tell currently is its actually more severe than flu, especially for people who have chronic conditions and are over the age of 60. So, the biggest issue is the fact that no one's had this strain of coronavirus before.

As for things you need to do, our public officials or public health officials are doing a good job. I think we actually need to listen. I think actually staying home, being out of crowded spaces as much as possible. When you're going to the store, be direct, and get the things you need. Get out. Don't take the whole family with you and try to limit the number of people going in and out.

They've today started saying maybe it'd be a good idea to wear a mask when you're going to be in those congregate settings. That wouldn't necessarily be a bad idea right now. What we're seeing as far as numbers, the hard thing is that the test is taking a little while to come back. And so these numbers are probably more representative of what things were a week ago, or a week and a half ago. And with so all the measures we're trying to make now are reacting to those numbers from a week and a half ago word actuality is probably more illness out there than we know.

So these next few weeks are actually going to be key markers to see how bad the transmission is and did these social distancing efforts actually work. What I've been told and read is that they're looking at the peak in South Carolina to be somewhere towards the end of April maybe the 27th 28th of April.

That means that that's gonna be the max number of cases and DHEC is said that somewhere around 8,000 people in South Carolina will have coronavirus by that time. That sounds like a large number but also compared to the size of population that's not horrible compared to other places in the country.

Again, leaders from the whole system have done analysis and worked with DHEC and looked to ask, “Okay, how many hospital beds do we have? How many ICU beds do we have? How many ventilators do we have?” And so under current projections, they think they will have enough hospital beds. But depending on severity of illness, there is some worry about enough ICU beds and enough ventilators. And so we really are trying to do our best right now for those that have chronic conditions. Those are over age 60, that they are getting those chronic conditions as controlled as possible. And then those folks are the ones that need to stay inside, you just stay away from other people as much as possible, limiting the number of interactions they have tightening their circle of people. Now, of course, we want interactions virtually, we don't want people to be socially isolated. But physical contact really needs to decrease especially these next two to three weeks. But the peak just means that that's gonna be the max amount, and that we will gradually still have people over that a few weeks after that. They'll have the issue.

And then we're also just studying around the world to see is this going be a one wave incident or and we'll be done like SARS a few years ago, or we'll have a reprieve in the summer and things in the fall, we'll come back, and we'll have to try something like this again. 

Jake: When you say the peak at the end of April, that is assuming all of us are doing our job to socially distance? 

Mark: Yeah, actually, if socially distancing works, that means that we're actually gonna be pushing the peak out further in time. And so it'll take longer for people to bump into each other to actually get the illness. So if we're doing a great job, and continue to be a little bit more physically distant from each other, it might push the peak further in April or maybe slightly into May, and that actually is an okay thing.

So that's not actually a bad thing if we can push the peak of it all because that means that we're slowing the rate of transmission. And that will allow folks to, if they're going to get ill, then we have the supplies at the hospitals to take care of them. Yeah.

Jake: How can we best serve you guys and love for y'all and pray for you guys? I know for me, control is a big issue with me as well. And I see everything that's going on and I just can't help but feel just totally helpless in all of this. And so I'm having to be reminded constantly: Prayer is how we acknowledge we are helpless in more ways than one and we have to take it to the Lord. So along with how can we pray for you, are there things specifically that our church family can be doing?

Mark: The first thing is, stay home and encourage your neighbors to stay home. If you've got folks that like to tailgate or something on your street, be kind, but ask them to disperse or if this confrontation has to occur, call the police. You don't need to get into a fight with anyone but encourage folks that they actually socially distance from each other.

I think the other thing is to think of ways you can help our families, because one of the things that occurs is that we're at work all the time. We're really focusing on our patients while we're there, and our families are having to sort of pick up the burden at home. So if you can think of ways that you can reach out and love on the families of healthcare workers would be super helpful because there's a lot of anxiety about if we will bring the illness home to our families. 

For example, Kim is able to now work from home, but she's still supposed to be working, yet with four kids trying to do e-learning is a challenge. And then also, they're a little bit bored, and they're needing things to do. And so what’s been helpful is a LifeGroup member, Jonathan, who's come over in the afternoons, (we try to keep the number of people who come over very small), but he comes over and will play with the kids go for bike rides and things like that, that help take that off of, of Kim and I. 

So look for ways whether it's dropping off some food, whatever it might be to help out families. 

And so the other thing I was mentioning was sending messages, whether that's virtual through Facebook, GroupMe, text. I even love physical mail. We got a letter from one of the college students who used to help babysit our kids during LifeGroup, who now because of coronavirus can't come help, but she wrote a physical letter to us and mailed it and that was really cool. That meant a lot. So those kinds of things would be great as well. 

Jake: To end our time would love to pray for you and to pray for everything that's going on. Like I said, so many of us feel so helpless and out of control. And we're reminded, this is why we pray to God.

Mark: Some of the things I was mentioning for prayer requests, particularly for those doctors who are working in the hospitals, if this gets potentially impactful as they might predict, they're gonna be some of our family members within Midtown. We're going to be having to talk to patients about patients, families that say, “Okay, we don't have a ventilator for your loved one,” and help them work through that. They're going to have to potentially work with families that are saying goodbye, or actually work with patients who are dying, but families can't be there because they're isolated. Those are sort of the people that we want to be lifting up and situations we want to lift up in the weeks to come.

Jake: Jesus, we acknowledge that you are in control, that you are sovereign, that when this pandemic struck, not too long ago, you were not caught off guard by that. And we're also reminded that you love us and that you tell us our eternity is secure. And so Jesus, we ask more than anything that we fix our eyes on you that we put our hope in you. In all of this as we are getting our control stripped away from us, that we acknowledge that ultimately you're the one that's in control. God, I thank you for Mark and all of the people that are in our church family and throughout the world who are in the medical profession right now on the front lines with this seeing it day in and day out. For the people who are fighting hard right now, to figure out a cure for this. Jesus, we lift all of that up to you. We pray that a cure can be found soon. We pray that you'd be with the doctors and the medical professionals who are having to deal with some really hard decisions, who are having to be with people and patients when they are feeling so lonely. Jesus, I thank you that so many of those people are in our church family who love you are your hands and feet right now to the sick and the dying. Jesus be with them and comfort them so that they can be with others and comfort others with what they are going through. Jesus we are praying for the day that the pandemic would end that we could be together again as a church family that we can gather together and hug one another. In the meantime, we cling to you so desperately in all of this. We trust you. We love you. In your name we pray. Amen.


Resources for Holy Week

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Starting Monday, April 6 we usher into Holy Week - the time in the church calendar where we slowly reflect on the last days leading up to Jesus’ death and resurrection. Below are some sermons from Desiring God to better prepare your heart this week.

Also check out our sermons from our Luke series:

Palm Sunday:

Reflect today on these messages.

"Hosanna" - John 12:13

“...when we sing "Hosanna" now, let's make it very personal. Let's make it our praise and our confidence. The Son of David has come. He has saved us from guilt and fear and hopelessness. Salvation! Salvation belongs to our God and to the Son! Hosanna! Hosanna in the highest!”

"The Sovereign Sacrifice: Foreknown, Foretold, For Faith" - John 13:12-20

“Believer, be strong. There is good reason to stand with Jesus and to live for him this week.”

Maundy Thursday:

Reflect today on this message.

"Being Loved by Christ" - John 13:1:

“This is what we long for, and this is what we have by faith—an experience of being loved with a love that lasts, that is not fickle, or uncertain, or capricious, but durable, constant, stable.”

Good Friday:

Reflect today on this message.

"The Third Word From the Cross" - John 19:26-27 

“If Jesus could provide for the needs of his own in the moment of his greatest weakness and humiliation, how much more can he provide for your need in his present wealth of power and exaltation”

Easter:

For Easter Sunday, we invite each LifeGroup to participate at 6:15am via Zoom or Google hangouts to have a watch party together. At the end of the Easter Sunday sermon, we will invite everyone to go outside to enjoy the sunrise together as a church family.

In addition, you can reflect on these messages. 

"Jesus is Alive to Serve" - John 11:15:

“...because he has overcome death, we can overcome death by faith in him.”

"Irrevocable Joy" - John 16:22

“Joy in being with Jesus is an unbroken line from now to eternity. It will not be cut off by his death or ours.”

"I Have Seen the Lord" - John 20:1-23

“...this world that we love so much, compared to [the new heavens and new earth], will be like a candle compared to the sun”

Below are some extra teachings out of the Gospel of John that connected to pain and suffering and the call to love one another. We found this encouraging and applicable in light of the pandemic.

Additional Resources:

Below are some extra teachings out of the Gospel of John that are connected to pain and suffering and the call to love one another. We found this encouraging and applicable in light of the pandemic.

Look at the book (3 parts) John 11

Part 1: "How Do We Read the Bible Stories

Part 2: "Why Did Jesus Let Lazarus Die?

Part 3: "God's Love Allows Pain and Loss

Sermons:

"Even When it Hurts: How God Reveals Himself in Pain and Loss" - John 11:1-6 

"This Illness is for the Glory of God" - John 11:1-16

Handling Finances in a Pandemic

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If you haven’t been already, each of us will in some way be affected by the economic decline caused by the novel coronavirus. Jesus calls us not to live in fear, but to trust that He will provide all that we need to glorify Him (Philippians 4:19). In light of this, how should we think about the finances that have been entrusted to us by the Lord in the days ahead?

A. If you have lost or are expecting to lose income

  1. Let your LifeGroup know and visit our needs page to request financial assistance. We are here to come alongside and support you.

  2. In the coming days, depending on your level of income and the number of people in your household, you will be receiving a stimulus check as a result of the recent CARES Act passed by Congress. Use this money to meet your basic needs (i.e. food, housing, utilities, healthcare, transportation).

  3. If you have not already, use this tool to rebuild your budget for a crisis.

  4. If you have an emergency fund of 3 to 6 months of essential living costs saved, now is a good time to use this money. If you don’t have an emergency fund, save as you are able to build one.

  5. Leave any retirement or other investment accounts alone. Although some penalties are being deferred on early retirement withdrawals right now as a result of the CARES Act, this should be avoided. Ultimately, withdrawing money early is putting yourself into debt and will be harmful to you in the long run.

B. If your income level has not changed

  1. The temptation to hoard and self-protect is even greater now than it normally is in our culture. This is a great time to be a light to our culture that our hope is not in money, but in Jesus. Our desire is to be like the church seen in Acts 2:42-47 and 2 Corinthians 8:1-15 where the church was sharing and meeting one another’s needs as anyone had any.

  2. Many of us are working from home, which has decreased our overall cost of living expenses. This is a great time to increase generosity in your life and make cuts on nonessential spending. Continue to tithe or start tithing if you aren’t already. Visit our needs page to see additional ways you can offer support. Share what you have with others around you that are in need. Support local small businesses that are struggling financially. Reach out to a missionary to see if they need additional support.

  3. Again, depending on your level of income and number of people in your household, you will also be receiving a stimulus check from the government. If your essentials are met and you have money saved for an emergency, consider giving to someone who may be in greater need than you at this time.

Regardless of your current financial situation, we would encourage you to use Midtown’s daily Lent Guide as we practice fasting corporately during the Lent season. Make a daily practice of thanking God for his specific provision to you each day and for his ultimate provision in giving us his best in Jesus.

Additionally, here are a few resources to help you think through how to manage your finances in the midst of a crisis:

  1. Steps for Preparing a Crisis Budget (Crown Financial)

  2. What to do if you’re out of work or miss a paycheck (Financial Peace)

  3. Generosity in a Time of Hoarding (Gospel Coalition)

  4. Generosity | Following Jesus Together

Psalm 13 with Pastor Jon

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Transcript:

Hey church family, we almost taught on Psalm 13 this last Sunday and even though we changed directions, I thought it would still be an encouraging devotional for us in the midst of the ever changing Covid-19 pandemic situation we find ourselves in. In times of suffering and trial, Christians have consistently turned to the Psalms in every difficult situation. As Athanasius of Alexandria, one of the ancient church fathers wrote, “Whatever your particular need or trouble, from [the Psalms] you can find a form of words to fit it, [and] learn the way to remedy your ill.”

If you’ve got a Bible, grab it and open up to Psalm 13. Feel free to pause this video right now and read through the short 6 verses of the Psalm on your own.  [[Pause]]

The Psalm is set up in 3 sets of 2 verse pairs and there’s a progression from one pair to the next. The first pair starts with David coming to God, no holds barred, crying out, pouring out his heart to the Lord. I’m going to break down these 5 or 6 questions he volleys at the Lord and we’ll see how his questions reflect and relate to some of our questions. V. 1

Pouring Out Questions

Psalm 13:1-6

1 How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?

Suffering has this strange ability to play with time. It can stretch time making a moment feel like forever. Can also shrink it, making time feel like sand slipping through our hands. But for David, This moment feels like it won’t quit. It feels like forever. “How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever?” He doesn’t know how long his suffering will endure. And he doesn’t know how long he can endure in the midst of it. 

For us here and now, in the midst of this pandemic - none of us know how long this season will last? We can easily join David in crying out to God, “how long, O Lord?” But this isn’t just a simple matter of time for David… Look back at v. 1

How long, O Lord? Will you forget me forever? How long will you hide your face from me?

David’s pain and suffering is having a profound spiritual effect. God, you’re hiding your face from me. You’re forgetting about me. Like we do so often, David is interpreting God love and relational posture towards him, based on his circumstances. While this is backwards and David knows this, right here it doesn’t matter. He’ll recover his theological bearings soon enough. But for now He’s coming to God honest. He’s pouring it all out. V. 2 is a two part question: 

2 How long must I take counsel in my soul?

This a profound statement of isolation. I have no one else to counsel with. How long? No one who understands what I’m going through.

Once again I see some direct connection to our current circumstance. I love to see the ways our church family is fighting to stay connected, using technology, virtual meetings, etc. in the midst of our social distancing. But the truth is our isolation is more than physical. None of us knows exactly what is the wisest course for ourselves or our family. The experts can’t fully agree on how long this will last. There are all kinds of implications for what our lives will look like next week, next month, next year. 

I love that in times like these God invites us to come find wisdom from Him (James 1:5 and Proverbs 2:6). He is our great counselor who is never at a loss for what the right next move is. As we just read in the Lent guide, He gives us His Spirit to lead us into the truth.

I’d also encourage us to prayerfully consider who may be feeling even more isolated than you. Who have you not seen or heard from? Who deals with depression or anxiety and might not have the energy to reach out right now? Ok vs. 2:

2 How long must I take counsel in my soul and have sorrow in my heart all the day?

How long must I have sorrow in my heart all the day? David says, God everywhere I look, there’s sadness and sorrow without end. Uncertainty and pain. Confusion and deep sadness. There is a moment where sadness sets it’s hooks deep in our hearts and minds and we call it despair or depression. Things we normally love lose their appeal. Simple tasks start to feel impossible. If you think you might be dealing with any depression in the midst of these circumstances, please tell someone in your LG. 

How long shall my enemy be exalted over me?

The final question David asks how long will my enemy be exalted over me? How long will the bad guys be winning God? 

Our current situation is pretty different as we have an invisible enemy of a virus and incredibly complex challenges of what is the wise thing to do in the face of this? But while our enemy isn’t a visible soldier, we can still relate to David’s sense of helplessness and vulnerability. 

And if we looked at those two verses alone we would see that we are invited to take our questions, our doubts, our frustrations in their unbridled rawness straight to God. To wrestle with Him. Like David we have plenty of unanswered questions. And that by itself is a good encouragement.... But we wouldn’t have a lot of hope, and while some Psalms do end there, this one doesn’t. 

In each set of two verses we’ll see David’s tone change as God’s presence and character moves more and more into focus. 

Shifting Toward Reorienting

3 Consider and answer me, O Lord my God;

    light up my eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death,

4 lest my enemy say, “I have prevailed over him,”

    lest my foes rejoice because I am shaken.

David is still aware of the threat, but his tone has softened. The despair of the first two verses shifts towards the realization that God is his hope. The Lord he’s ranting at in vs. 1 becomes O Lord my God in v. 3. MY God. He’s remembering God is His and he is God’s. He’s starting to reorient. His petition is now for God to consider and answer and light up his eyes, so he doesn’t give in to death or despair. 

The crisis hasn’t passed, but David’s outlook of the future now includes God’s presence. 

This is a fundamental shift when we’re struggling the most. A Godless view is despair. 

Trying to fight or hope in the face of a world entirely out of our control... that can only lead to despair… but as soon as we remember God is not out of control, He’s not praying for wisdom or strength because He doesn’t lack either… our view shifts. 

We can still admit the situation is large but with the perspective that it isn’t larger than God or His purposes. And just as David goes from questioning to reorienting, so likewise, it's not enough to stay stuck in questioning mode. there comes a point where we like David must begin to ground ourselves back to who God is.

In the final 2 verses, David reorients fully back to trust and gratitude. 

Remember and Rejoice

5 But I have trusted in your steadfast love;

    my heart shall rejoice in your salvation.

6 I will sing to the Lord,

    because he has dealt bountifully with me.

How did David move from the desperate, hopeless questioning in v. 1 and 2 to the trusting, rejoicing and singing 3 verses later? 

God isn’t just in his view now. God has absorbed the whole picture. David’s focus has shifted primarily to God’s character; His steadfast love, His salvation… and David concludes, “The Lord has dealt bountifully with me.”

When I read this phrase dealt bountifully - I think about the phrase “more than enough”. The reality that what God has done for me and how He has treated me is already more than enough. Far more than I deserve. 

If God never does anything else for me the rest of my life, what He’s already done is more than enough. If all the circumstances fall apart and this pandemic only gets worse forever, how God has loved me has already been more than enough. He’s already done more than enough to be worthy of my songs. Worthy of my trust. Worthy of rejoicing. 

This is how Paul can say in Philippians he knows how to be content in any and all circumstances. God’s already given Him Christ and that is more than enough. This is why 1 Thessalonians calls us to rejoice always, pray continually and give thanks in all circumstances. 

It’s not possible unless you know and remember dwell on the reality that He has already done more than enough. 

I have no false promises for you. I do now know when or how our circumstances might change. I wish I did. 

But I know God’s steadfast love for you. I know the cross and Jesus’ empty tomb is proof. And I know His salvation is more than enough.

Love ya’ll and praying for ya.

How to Socially Distance without Social Isolation

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In the midst of a pandemic, an economic recession is not just a distant concern for many people, but rather an imminent reality. Unfortunately, just as social distancing can lead to economic recession, it can also lead to a “social recession.” As our governments debate drastic measures to curb an economic recession, how can we as a church family fight to keep the necessary social distancing measures from leading to a “social recession” in our community? 

1. Make a Plan 

It can be easy in this season to drift into isolation. To fight our natural inclination towards apathy, it’s important to make a social plan for your day. If you haven’t yet, check out our “Developing a Rule of Life” resource to help get you started. Some things to make a plan for include:

  • Who will I reach out to daily? (coworkers, LifeGroup, family members, missional friends)

  • How can I regularly spend time with Jesus? (reading Scripture, listening to worship music, journaling, prayer)

  • How can I use my time well? (going on walks, activities with children, cleaning, virtual hang outs)   

You and your LifeGroup might also use this time to make a plan to check in on one another. Ideas can include:

  • Ask LifeGroup members to call two people in the group per day

    • You or a core group member could set up assigned dates and people or the members can develop their own system

  • Alternatively, create “check in” partners so everyone is connecting with someone on a daily basis 

    • Mix them up on a weekly or half-weekly basis so your group gets to know each other better

2. Get Creative with Technology

Social distancing is hard, but today we have the unprecedented advantage of technology. Here are some ways to use technology to continue to gather with your community. 

  • Video Chat Software: There are several great video chat softwares available, including Zoom, Facetime, Google Hangouts, Marco Polo and Skype. You can play a board game, have a children’s play date, do an exercise video, or even have a virtual coffee date with friends all over video chat.

  • Rhythm Substitutes: Even though we can’t physically be together, here are some current ways you may substitute your time together. (If you have more ideas, we’d love to hear them.)

    • Netflix Party Extension: This browser extension allows you to watch Netflix together with a group chat. 

    • House Party App and JackBox: You can video chat with a group while playing a variety of games, including trivia and a game similar to “Apples to Apples.”

  • Be Tech Support for the Vulnerable: The truth is that some of the most vulnerable people in our community are also the least technologically savvy. The poor and the elderly are statistically less likely to have internet at all, much less have experience using apps or software. Reach out to the vulnerable people in your life and offer to walk them through how to use the technology available to us, including everything from video chat to online food and grocery delivery.

3. Be Honest with God and Others

Dietrich Bonhoeffer in Life Together talks about the danger of misplaced, uncommunicated expectations in community: "Every human wish dream that is injected into the Christian community is a hindrance to genuine community and must be banished if genuine community is to survive. He who loves his dream of a community more than the Christian community itself becomes a destroyer of the latter, even though his personal intentions may be ever so honest and earnest and sacrificial." [1]

In other words, we are wired to be relational creatures and sin can easily have us drift into unspoken expectations that can easily fester into resentment, bitterness, and social isolation. If you feel loneliness creep in ask yourself, “Am I taking my relational needs to God first?” “Are my relational expectations I have on others biblical,  realistic, and has been previously communicated to them?” “Am I doing my part to actively engage with others as well?” “Is there any resentment that I need to repent to God before I communicate my relational need to LifeGroup?”0

As we struggle in the fight against loneliness, the Lord promises us that he not only sees our sorrow, but that he is there with us in the midst of pain and suffering (Psalm 56:8). We also know that whatever happens in this broken world, one day we will spend eternity in a place with no suffering, loneliness, or depression. Right now we’re running the race and encouraging others to run with us (Hebrews 12:1), but our victory is already won. By being “alone together,” we can not only prevent the spread of disease, but also prevent the spread of social isolation in our church family and community.

——-

[1] - For more on this, check out our resource “The Five Stages of Community (or Why the Unicorn Must Die)” at FollowingJesusTogether.com

Reaching Out to Those Vulnerable to the Coronavirus

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We want to take a few minutes to help our family with a few practical thoughts on how to reach out to folks who are vulnerable, or who have become sick.

Let’s define a few terms, first.

  • Social Distancing - Staying ~6ft from others and avoiding unnecessary shopping trips & social gatherings. This is something that the CDC has recommended all Americans practice.

  • Self-Quarantine - Staying away from others and only going out when absolutely necessary (e.g. for groceries or medicine). Currently, the CDC recommends this for people who are higher-risk, or have had direct contact with someone who has tested positive for coronavirus disease.

When someone in your LifeGroup tests positive for the coronavirus disease, you have a wonderful opportunity to serve them by buying groceries & delivering them to their doorstep, cooking meals for them, and helping them to recover quickly. Continue reaching out to them as they are able, and have someone from your group check in on them daily, if not more often. 

Someone who tests positive should be kept in a room to themselves, and meals should be delivered to their door, but not with direct contact. When someone is ready to eat, make a plate for them and set it outside their door - don’t bring it into them. Make sure to wash your hands after doing any laundry or dishes that the person who has been infected has touched. Also, it’s a good practice to disinfect any surfaces that the sick person has touched, including doorknobs, sinks, and toilets. 

Work with your LifeGroup leader to make sure that needs are being met, and remind your LifeGroup leader to let their coach know when someone in their group contracts the virus.

Finally, during this time of quarantine, phone calls/Google hangouts can be a way to stay connected without risking infection. It’s easy to stigmatize those who are sick, but it’s important to remember that the virus doesn’t target specific people, and all of us are at risk.

For more practical tips, check out our resource “Socially Distancing without Socially Isolating.

Resisting Anxiety in Historically Anxious Times

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“US surgeon general warns ‘This week is going to get bad’.”

“Coronavirus: Young people are not ‘Invincible’, WHO warns”

“The Coronavirus Recession could become a Depression”

These are just a few headlines that seem to be circulating everywhere. It seems impossible to go a few hours without a new update that includes news that will drastically affect how we live. Google feeds are littered with information and stats about each state's growing caseload. Check your social media, it seems like every other post is a shared article or opinion about what’s going on (and for some reason they’re all unhelpful). 

Internally, we’ve got dozens of unanswered questions: 

Am I going to make it financially?

Have I been exposed? 

What happens if I get sick? 

When will it be normal again?

We’re in a pandemic. In the past 100 years, there have been a handful of pandemics, but this one is making history. Everything has been affected. The situation seems to shift daily. Even though pandemics are not a new thing, we are experiencing something for the first time in our lifetimes. It’s impossible to know all of the answers, but the cumulative effect of our questions and climate spell out one thing:

Anxiety.

For many of us, this is a nightmare. We don’t have the answers, so we imagine all of the possible outcomes, many of which are not good. We fear what may happen if our hours get cut even more or if we’re unemployed for a season. Graduating students don’t know what comes next. Parents are at a loss as their family’s routine has been shattered, kicked, and thrown off a bridge. For others, this season reminds us of the frailty of life, and that’s really scary.

At the heart of our anxiety is the question, “Am I going to be okay?” In a pandemic like this, we literally have no idea what tomorrow brings. We don’t know when it will be normal again or if we will get sick. We don’t feel secure. We don’t have control and we don’t have the answers. 

But we do have something. Christians have a God that is present. We have a God who knows all of the answers. He is in control and He cares.

Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.

1 Peter 5:6-7

Our response in a pandemic is to draw near to God. A Christian’s hope and peace doesn’t have to be founded on answers. Nor does it need to be rooted in our circumstances or in the amount of control we have over them. We cast all of our anxieties on Him because He cares for us. 

The beauty of the Gospel is displayed during anxiety-filled seasons. God doesn’t just say He cares, He shows us. We have a story. The God of the universe lowered Himself to the form of a man, lived a perfect, sinless life, and died the death that we deserved. Jesus was abandoned by the Father on the cross, an agonizing event that He could’ve turned away from. But He didn’t. He stayed.

When Jesus stayed on the cross, He showed us how trustworthy He really is. On the cross Jesus purchased our eternal security. We’re His people, forever. 

We may feel insecure today, but our eternity is secure. We may not know if we or those we love will get sick, but we do know the God who will be there with us. We may not know how long this season will last, but we do know that God is unchanging and loves us. We may not know where the next paycheck will come from, but we do know that God can and will provide. 

We take our anxieties to Him. We pray. He knows everything. We ask Him for what we need. We can trust God to take care of us now because He has already taken care of our eternity. 

We have a foundation to stand on and we have steps to take. Jesus has not only given us truth to cling to, He has also given us real ways to fight our anxiety. We fight our anxiety by bringing the Gospel into our daily lives. The way we do this is through spiritual disciplines and practices[1]. 1 Peter 5:7 tells us to “cast our anxiety onto Him.” We have practices that help us live out what the Scriptures are talking about. Here are three ways that we can go to Jesus in our anxiety:

  1. Pray - Talk with God. Although it may feel like He’s distant, His word tells us He’s not. He’s with us and loves us. We can be honest with Him, wherever we’re at. In our anxiety we may want to turn away from Him, but He invites us to come to Him. Tell Him how you feel. Tell Him your worries. He knows them all and cares for you.

  2. Lectio Divina - This is a practice where we read and meditate on God’s word. We enter into God’s presence by reading, reflecting, responding, and resting. Take a passage like Psalm 23 or Matthew 11:28-30. Lectio Divina allows us to sit in the truth. We get to pause and let the reality of who God is sink into our hearts. We can let His word guide our minds in this difficult season. When anxiety hits, we forget and doubt the character of God. We forget the Gospel. Practices like Lectio Divina allow us to sit in God’s word and let Him remind of us who He is. You can find the specific instructions here.  

  3. Daily Examen - The examen prayer is meant to be practiced at the end of each day, looking back and discerning God’s activity with an aim to grow in deeper awareness for the next day. In our anxiety we can lose sight of where God is. We start to only think about what we can do. In practicing this daily, we’re able to see God’s presence more clearly in our lives. The examen prayer can allow us to see the reality that God is active in our lives and this is exactly what our anxious spirits need. You can find specific instructions here. 

In our anxiety, what we actually need is the Gospel. We need a faithful God to cling to, because everything else will not hold. We need a God that we can trust. The Gospel is our proof. We had no hope and no security, but Jesus delivered when we needed Him most. We can turn to Him now, casting our anxiety onto Him, because He cares and will never change.


[1] For more on spiritual practices and formation, go to FollowingJesusTogether.com

Practical Guide for Worshipping at Home

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Each week we are providing a Worship Guide for you, your family, and your LifeGroup to walk through. To familiarize yourself with the Sunday Worship Guide, consider the following tips before you start:

Review the content beforehand

Take a few minutes to look over the content so you can lead well.

Pick a time

Schedule ahead of time when you’re going to do Sunday Worship, place it on your calendar and stick to it.

You Need a Screen

Even if it’s a laptop, make sure the screen is viewable to everyone in the room

You Need Internet

Make sure to pull up all links and have them ready (sermon and songs)

Put Away Devices

Assign Roles

Plan ahead for who will lead each part of the guide. The Worship Guide is simple enough, all they need to do is read that portion out loud.

Have a Plan for the Kids

If they are old enough, have them lead/read appropriate portions of the guide.

If they are too young for that, have them listen for key words in the sermon, like "Jesus", and tally the number of times they hear those words. If they are too young for that, just do your best!


Do you have other practical tips? Share them with us!

Developing a Daily Rule of Life While on Lockdown

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Print/Download Daily Rule of Life template - (Google Drive | PDF)

...we who have fled for refuge might have strong encouragement to hold fast to the hope set before us. We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul...

Hebrews 6:18-19

In light of the global pandemic that is COVID-19 and the recent limiting of all gatherings over 10 people, it’s easy to get bored, burnt out, or stir-crazy. Hebrews 6 reminds us though that one thing we can hold fast to is the presence and power of Jesus.

One ancient tool to hold fast to Him is a rule of life. 

A rule of life is a practical way to schedule the coming days around what matters most: the teachings and practices of Jesus. One author calls developing a rule of life as living with “a well-ordered heart.” Right now when it feels like everything is disordered and the world is shifting every day, one thing we can bring into order is our inner lives. Keeping a rule of life is one way we do just that.

Note, these are not “rules for life,” with an emphasis on “if I don’t do this, Jesus will love me less.” Rather, a rule of life is grounded in the reality that you are already loved and accepted by the God of the universe, and this tool simply creates a framework to build spiritual practices into your life so you can experience His love in your life every day.

While this tool slightly varies from tradition to tradition, developing a rule of life typically includes three main things to anchor your day: [1]

  • Abiding: how you will spend time with Jesus (Bible reading, prayer, confession, singing)

  • Resting: how you will rest (sleep, Sabbath, exercise, limiting screen time/escapist tendencies)

  • Community: how you will spend time with others (family, LifeGroups, missional friendships)

It’s also important to note that a rule of life is meant to work for you, with lots of flexibility to accommodate your season of life. So, for example, if you’re single and live alone, your rule of life will look different than a college student, or parents with young kids, or an empty nester. Likewise, your wiring will impact how you write your rule of life. If you think more big picture, this will reflect itself in your rule of life. If you’re more detail-oriented, it will be more helpful for you to get very practical as you write your rule of life.

A final word on rule of life, try not to introduce too many new practices at once. Instead, create small “wins” that are attainable to create both momentum and sustainability in your spiritual formation. After writing your rule of life, ask your LifeGroup to give you feedback.

Below are some examples of what a daily rule of life can look like during the quarantine, followed by a template to help you get started. Once you’ve written out your daily rule of life, put it somewhere visible - your bathroom mirror, your fridge, your phone’s lock screen - and email us here so we can share our ideas with one another.

Lastly, if you’re new to the spiritual practices, check out FollowingJesusTogether.com

Print/Download Daily Rule of Life template - (Google Drive | PDF)

Daily Rule of Life for Singles - Example 

Abiding

  • Wake up at the same time every day, make coffee, spend time with Jesus in Scripture and prayer (currently using the Lent Guide) before looking at my phone 

  • Examen Prayer before bed 

Rest

  • Limit entertainment - social media two days a week (Instagram Mondays and Facebook Fridays), watch TV and movies with friends -- try not to binge TV alone 

  • Put my phone in the kitchen before I get ready for bed, try to be asleep by 11pm

Community

  • Daily walk with a friend who lives close 

  • Porch dinners with my neighbor

  • Call, FaceTime, or Marco Polo with a good friend

  • Check in with someone from LifeGroup

Daily Rule of Life for Marrieds with Kids - Example

(see also Parenting Resources)

Abiding 

  • Wake up before kids to work through the Lent Guide 

  • Spend some time praying for our family to make it through the day

  • Examen Prayer with spouse each night

Rest

  • If possible, 7-8 hours of sleep, try to be in bed by 10 - wind-down away from phone for last 30 minutes 

  • 20 minutes of exercise each day - jog or walk around the neighborhood

  • Check the news once a day 

Community

  • No phone when with kids from 4pm-bedtime

  • Sync-up with spouse for 15 minutes without screens each day

  • Play with all the kids for at least an hour to give spouse time to abide and rest

  • Check-in with LifeGroup 


A great book to familiarize yourself with rule of life is The Common Rule by Justin Earley.


 [1] You can find a full version of a rule of life template with categories here - midtowncolumbia.com/blog/developing-a-rule-of-life

Parenting Resources for COVID-19

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Midtown parents, how do you lead your family when things are changing so rapidly that the announcements that came out yesterday from the White House or Centers for Disease Control are obsolete today? We all know that children thrive on structure, but how do you give that to them when it feels like chaos all around you?

We’ve pulled together resources that we think are helpful, along with a summary of each. They range from the exclusively spiritual to emotional to practical. As usual, stay in touch with your LifeGroup and let us know if you have any needs by submitting them here. As well, consider single people in your life who may count it a blessing to come help you out!

With all resource recommendations, remember to keep your discernment meter up. Eat the meat and spit out the bones. Take the helpful truth and prayerfully apply it in a way that is most fruitful for you.

Overall Tips

  • Maintain as much of a normal routine as possible

  • Limit how much you and your children look at the news and social media

  • Your kids will mirror how you react

  • Refocus the attention on God’s power and love

  • Pray with your kids

  • Encourage them to talk to you about their worries and fears

Christian Resources

  • How to Talk to Children About the Coronavirus, The Gospel Coalition

    • Three questions to ask kids:

      • 1. Why do Christians not have to fear death? 

      • 2. Why should Christians still be safe, responsible, and wise about the Coronavirus? 

      • 3. Why can Christians live in this dangerous world without fear? 

    • The author walks through the answers to these questions and finishes the article with this:

“Whether through the closing of their school or information they’ve heard in the media, your child will learn of the coronavirus’s dangers. Proactively point them to the Lord’s good and gracious character, along with the gospel’s sweet and sure promises, and you will comfort them amid this present crisis. And it can prepare them for life’s afflictions down the road.”

  • Talking with Kids About the CoronaVirus, Focus on the Family

    • Keep calm and communicate

    • Provide reassurance

    • Stick to the facts (e.g. Centers for Disease Control and National Institutes of Health)

    • Use this time for family fun

    • God is still in control

  1. Get the facts

  2. Validate your child’s fears

  3. Limit media coverage

  4. Discuss disruptions

  5. Maintain perspective

  1. Create a schedule...but hang on to it loosely

  2. Set up your classroom

  3. Use your kids’ currency (referring to consequences/rewards)

  4. Be aware of your kids’ learning style

  5. Don’t be afraid to fail

  6. Be there for your kids

  • Parenting Well in the Midst of a Pandemic, Crossroads Church, Cincinnati, OH

    • Take a deep breath

    • Their concerns are real

    • Be a detective

    • Talk with them about specifics as they’re ready

    • Be developmentally appropriate

    • Turn off the news

    • Hold onto routines as much as possible

    • Don’t play the blame game

    • Fill their minds with God’s truth

    • Share with friends in need

    • Be Jesus to your friends, neighbors, and family

  • How to Support Kids With Anxiety During the Coronavirus, Key Ministry

    • Model the response you would desire from your child

    • Consider involving your kids in your family’s preparations and response to the virus

    • Monitor exposure to attention-grabbing stories in the media

    • Plan ahead by identifying lots of books and activities that can occupy an anxious child’s mind

    • Use videoconferencing technology to connect with relatives and friends

    • Have a 90-day supply of prescription medication on hand

    • Model faith in action

Additional Resources

  • Talking to Children about COVID-19: A Parent Resource, National Association of School Psychologists

    • Model good health practices to them

    • Assure them that adults are working hard to make sure that everyone is safe

    • Maintain a normal routine as much as possible

    • Monitor television and social media use

    • Know that your children might be in need of extra care and attention at this time

Activity Resources

35 Activity Ideas for Kids Stuck at Home, Pop Sugar

Shepherding Your Family Through COVID-19

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Dear Midtown Parents, 

As you know, our vision for Kidtown is to partner with and equip parents as the primary disciplers of their kids. Now, as we find ourselves unable to gather on Sundays and with our LifeGroups, the importance of you discipling your children is more apparent than ever. 

For families who already have built-in rhythms of discipling your kids, great! Keep doing what you’re doing and tweak your rhythms as you need to. We hope the resources included are helpful as you navigate this time.

For those who don’t have healthy discipleship rhythms built yet, the present situation is actually a great opportunity to begin. All of your normal rhythms are being restructured. While this chaos can lead us to feel frozen and not want to do anything extra, the truth is it’s a perfect time to add in new rhythms while everything feels new to your kids anyway. 

What we aren’t asking you to do:

  • … magically transform into a seminary professor

  • … have answers to all the questions your kids might ask

  • … suddenly have kids who want to focus and pay attention for a 3-hour inductive Bible study

What we are asking you to do:

  1.  Maintain your own spiritual health - Spend time abiding in God’s Word and in prayer. Use the Lent Guide. Fight to stay connected with your LifeGroup in every way you can. Your spiritual health is vital as you shepherd your family.

  2. Spend time together with your kids in God’s Word and in prayer - This should have some formal weekly and/or daily rhythms as well as some informal, “as you go about your day” rhythms.

  • You can listen to Pastor Jon Ludovina teaching on all of this during the main session of Milestones Weekend 2019. (That link will take you to 21:22 when he teaches on Deuteronomy 6 and family discipleship rhythms specifically.)

RESOURCING YOU TO SHEPHERD YOUR FAMILY:

Weekly Family Worship:

We will be putting out weekly Family Worship Guides for you to be able to host a version of Kidtown at home for your family. These will follow what your children would be learning in Kidtown normally on Sundays and can be found on the weekly teaching page for adults. There will be versions available for Toddlers/Preschoolers and for Elementary-aged children. 

Daily Family Devotions:

If you don’t have something you’re doing already, try these simple daily family devotions based on the Lent Guide. (get the e-version of the Lent Guide here)

Morning:

In the morning, read a kid-friendly version of the Scripture reading (try the International Children’s Bible). Ask your children if anything stood out to them, share something that stood out to you, and then pray together, thanking God for what He showed you and asking Him to help you apply it today.

Evening:

In the evening, walk through the Evening Prayer prompts together. This is a great opportunity for you to share first and then allow each child to share.

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES

Parenting Resources for Covid-19

Midtown’s Parenting Resources page

Music for Family Worship

Books for Family Worship

Early Christians and the Plague

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If you take a quick scroll through Twitter or turn on the news for all of two minutes during this time, you might hear something like the phrase, “This is an unprecedented time in human history.” And in many ways what’s going on right now in our city, our country, and our world, does feel that way. None of us have faced a global pandemic like this in our lifetime. The effects on our work, our kids’ schools, our livelihood, the economy, our healthcare, and so on and so forth feels like unchartered territory. For us here and now this is unprecedented, but in the grand scheme of the history of the world, we are not the first Christians to face a global pandemic like this one.In 165 AD, a plague known as the Antonine Plague, spread from the Huns, to the Germans, and then throughout the Roman Empire, killing a quarter to one-third of the population. A little less than a century later, in 250 AD, the Cyprian Plague hit Rome, and it was believed that at its peak, almost 5,000 people a day were dying from the disease.

During these and many other times throughout human history, the Church was faced with a decision that we as Christians face every day - How do we love God and love our neighbor in the place, time, and circumstance where we find ourselves?

During the Antonine Plague, Christians stepped in to serve those in need at great risk to themselves. When the Cyprian Plague hit Rome most of the population fled in an effort to distance themselves from the disease in self-preservation, Christians stepped out in faith to care for those in distress.

Instead of fear and despondency, the earliest Christians would stay and tend to the sick and dying, knowing full well that it would likely result in their own deaths. They showed works of unreasonable, sacrificial mercy that simply dumbfounded the pagans. In Rome, the Christians buried not just their own, but pagans who had died without funds for a proper burial. They also supplied food for thousands of people on a daily basis.

During the Plague in Alexandria in the 1300s, when nearly everyone else fled the city to escape the disease, the early Christians risked their lives for one another by simple deeds of washing the sick, offering water and food, and consoling the dying. At the risk of their own lives, they saved an immense number of lives. Their even basic amounts of nursing and care greatly reduced mortality. Simple provisions of food and water allowed the sick that were temporarily too weak to cope for themselves to recover instead of dying miserably.

So basically everyone who could was running from the plague. Except for one group. Instead of running from the plague, they ran to it: the Christians who were moved by death defying compassion. 

Bishop and historian of the early church, Eusebius, recorded that during the plague, “All day long some of them [the Christians] tended to the dying and to their burial, countless numbers with no one to care for them. Others gathered together from all parts of the city, a multitude of those withered from famine and distributed bread to them all.”

But what encouragement does that give us as the people of God in a time where we are told what might be most loving is actually staying away? Where being most helpful is actually to not step towards those who are sick?

Theologian Martin Luther provides some insight here. When the Bubonic Plague came back to Germany in 1527, Luther’s hometown of Wittenberg was greatly affected. In response, he wrote a letter to his friend and fellow pastor Dr. John Hess. In the letter, entitled “Whether One Should Flee From A Deadly Plague”, Luther writes:

I shall ask God mercifully to protect us. Then I shall fumigate, help purify the air, administer medicine and take it. I shall avoid places and persons where my presence is not needed in order not to become contaminated and thus perchance inflict and pollute others and so cause their death as a result of my negligence. If God should wish to take me, he will surely find me and I have done what he has expected of me and so I am not responsible for either my own death or the death of others. If my neighbor needs me however I shall not avoid place or person but will go freely as stated above. See this is such a God-fearing faith because it is neither brash nor foolhardy and does not tempt God.

What was happening in 165 AD, 250 AD, the 1300s and in 1527 was that people were fleeing from one another, not because that was most loving, but because they desired self-protection and self-preservation. They weren’t social distancing out of love and sacrifice, they were doing so out of fear and selfishness. 

Luther’s encouragement to us as Christians is to consider, as the early church did, what is the most loving response? We learn in these moments to move towards those in need, not away from them. Even if we socially distance, we still consider how to love and care for those in the pandemic of our day, as we learn from the example of Christ-followers who have come before us.

History of the House Church

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From Acts 2 and onward, the early church was seen as a people who follow Jesus together through regularly gathering to read Scripture, pray, sing, and share meals. Due to intense persecution in the first few hundred years, the church would often worship in homes and risking their lives to be the hands and feet of Jesus to one another and to their city. 

It was out of these circumstances that the house church movement was born.

In fact, it was this subversive way of living that drew so many people into the family of God. Where the Roman government drew up divisions between race, social class, and gender, the early church opened up their doors and called each other family. When the government preyed on the marginalized and vulnerable, the church gave them a literal house and home. Within a couple of hundred years, followers of “the Way” went from a small, fledgling movement to the dominant religion of the West. [1]

Jump ahead a couple of thousand years, and for many Americans living in the 21st century, we’ve been blessed with religious freedom and the physical means to gather in larger spaces.  This is something that is easily taken for granted but is a rare phenomenon both historically and globally in Christendom. [2]

For most of the global church, house churches are still the norm either due to a lack of physical space and/or due to religious persecution - (it’s worth noting the global church experiences more religious persecution now more than ever. [3]) It’s also no coincidence that many of these modern house churches modeling themselves after Acts 2 are quickly becoming the next great epicenters of Christianity.

So, while this pandemic feels like an interruption for many, we see this as an opportunity to be the church all the more. By worshipping from home for a season, we step into an ancient practice brought down by our spiritual ancestors and we stand in solidarity with the global church.


 [1] From a sociological perspective, see Rodney Stark’s The Rise of Christianity: How the Obscure, Marginal Jesus Movement Became the Dominant Religious Force in the Western World in a Few Centuries

 [2] For a visual breakdown of the global church, see “The World as 100 Christians” https://www.gordonconwell.edu/blog/100christians/

[3] In just the last year there have been “over 260 million Christians living in places where they experience high levels of persecution, 2,983 Christians killed for their faith, 9,488 churches and other Christian buildings attacked, 3,711 believers detained without trial, arrested, sentenced or imprisoned” https://www.opendoorsusa.org/wp-content/uploads/2020/01/2020_World_Watch_List.pdf

Missional Life in the Time of the Coronavirus

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With the new guidelines of no gatherings of more than ten people until the end of the month, the question we’re all wondering is, “What now?”

From your church’s leadership, we will continue to provide the most up-to-date information regarding what this means for you, your LifeGroup, and our church through our social media (DT, LX, 2N) and newsletters (DT, LX, 2N). We will also be working to provide helpful resources to continue equipping you to think through this pandemic in a biblical worldview.

We also know that in light of COVID-19, our aim to be a Jesus-centered family on mission has not wavered. It certainly looks different than it did a week ago, and things may change again at any moment, but let’s see this as a time to be the hands and feet of Jesus in this season.

So, while we adhere to the White House’s recommendations and keep in line with the most recent CDC guidelines, let’s seek out ways we might still be on mission in our city. [1]

Below are some ideas, some of which are pulled from a recent article by Ed Stetzer in Christianity Today. Also, feel free to email us other ways you’ve been able to be on mission and we will add on to the list.

  • Providing childcare for healthcare workers whose kids are out of school

  • Preparing meals for children and families in need

  • Walking a dog for elderly neighbors

  • Offering to pick up food and supplies for those most at risk

  • Regularly calling and texting those in your neighborhood to check in

  • Offering biblical encouragement for those dealing with anxiety and depression

  • Support local businesses through ordering out as you are able

  • With LifeGroup Leader’s approval, inviting someone local you’re building with into your weekly virtual LifeGroup time 

  • When you have to go shopping, inquire with workers as to how they are and tell them you will be praying for their safety


 [1] For a brief history on the historical church’s response during pandemics, see “The Early Church and the Plague

Developing a Rule of Life

Download/Copy Rule of Life template - (Google Drive | PDF)

Rule of Life is a helpful guide for followers of Jesus to help get their lives and schedules revolving around the teachings and practices of Jesus. The word rule in Latin can also be translated rhythm; in Greek, the word rule is the same word for trellis. And like a trellis, a rule of life creates a framework to build spiritual practices and creates rhythms for you to grow.

Note, these are not “rules for life,” with an emphasis on “if I don’t do this Jesus will love me less.” Rather, a rule of life is grounded in the reality that you are already loved and accepted by the God of the universe, and this tool simply creates a framework to build those spiritual practices into your life so you can experience His love in your life all the more.

While this tool slightly varies from tradition to tradition, developing a rule of life typically includes three main things to anchor your day:

  • Abiding: how you will spend time with Jesus (Bible reading, prayer, confession, singing)

  • Resting: how you will rest (sleep, Sabbath, exercise)

  • Community: how you will spend time with others (family, LifeGroup, missional friendships)

It’s also important to note that a rule of life is meant to work for you, with lots of flexibility to accommodate your season of life. So for example, if you’re single and live alone, your rule of life will look different than a young parent with multiple children, or an empty nester. Likewise, if you’re wired to think more big picture, this will reflect itself in your rule of life. If you’re more detail-oriented, it will be more helpful for you to get very practical as you write your rule of life, like creating S.M.A.R.T. goals for each practice (small, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely).

A final word on rule of life, try not to introduce too many new practices at once. Instead, create small “wins” that are attainable, to create both momentum and sustainability in your spiritual formation. After writing your rule of life, consult with others to get feedback. After a season of working through your rule of life (1-3 months), look back at it and adjust accordingly. Do you need to do more or less? Do you need to get more specific or more big picture?


Below are categories and a template to help you get started. (For help on getting started with spiritual disciplines, check out FollowingJesusTogether.com)

Download/Copy Rule of Life template - (Google Drive | PDF)

Abiding - How can I connect with Jesus?

  • Bible

  • Prayer

  • Confession and Repentance

  • Sabbath

  • Retreat

Rest - How can I detach from busyness and distraction?

  • Phone usage, social media

  • Screen time

  • Fasting

  • Silence 

  • Sabbath

Community and Relationship - How can I connect with others?

  • LifeGroup - LG night, rhythms

  • Marriage - calendar/budget/relationship sync ups, intimacy

  • Children

Generosity - How am I managing my money and giving it away?

  • Budget

  • Giving

Mission - How am I building with others? (To simplify, you can include this in Community - whatever works for you.)

  • Serving

  • Praying

  • Hospitality

Health - How can I operate in a physically sustainable way? (To simplify, you can include this in Rest - whatever works for you.)

  • Sleep

  • Exercise

  • Diet

Milestones Resources | Marriage Books & Resources

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In the midst of the chaos of parenting, many married couples forget to fight to stay connected and growing in all types of intimacy. The following marriage books and resources are helpful tools to recapture God’s vision for your marriage and stay connected while you disciple your kids. 

With all book and resource recommendations, remember to keep your discernment meter up. Eat the meat and spit out the bones. Take the helpful truth about marriage and prayerfully apply it to your marriage in a way that is most fruitful for you.

Recommended Reading:

Meaning of Marriage 
By: Tim and Kathy Keller

When Sinners Say I Do 
By: Dave Harvey

A Marriage You’d Actually Want (Sermon series)
By: Midtown Fellowship

Christ-Centered Relationships (Sermon series)
By: Francis and Lisa Chan

This Momentary Marriage 
By: John Piper

What Did You Expect? 
By: Paul Tripp

$10 Great Dates 
By: Larson and Arp

Milestones Resources | Music for Family Worship

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Music may be the single greatest tool in all of creation that helps kids memorize words, concepts, and ideas. One-and-a-half-year-olds can memorize every single lyric of “Let it Go” from Frozen. While memorization without discussion and application can backfire, using music to help God’s Word soak deep into your child’s heart can lead to very fruitful conversations and discussions later on. 

With all resource recommendations, remember to keep your discernment meter up. Eat the meat and spit out the bones. Most of these songs and albums are chock-full of Scripture, but as always sing the ones that are most beneficial and enjoyed by your family.

Recommended Resources:

Milestones Resources | Books for Family Devotions

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Along with developmentally helpful Bible translations and story-books, many families find devotionals to be a helpful resource to help them study God’s Word and discuss together. These are especially helpful as your child begins to read and grasp more complex ideas about God. As well, many of these devotionals can be helpful as your child learns personal habits and rhythms of spending time with God on their own. 

With all book and resource recommendations, remember to keep your discernment meter up. Eat the meat and spit out the bones. Take the helpful observations and truth and prayerfully apply them to your family in a way that is most beneficial for your family.

Recommended Reading:

Milestones Resources | Bibles for Different Stages

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Nothing is more important for stacking gospel kindling around a child’s heart than helping your child learn God’s Word. In 2 Timothy 3, Paul rejoices in the fact that Timothy has been familiar with the Bible from his infancy. And he says the reason why is that these “... sacred writings are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.” Each of these translations and/or books based on narratives from the Bible help put the sacred writings in bite-sized chunks that kids at different stages can learn.

Baby and Preschool Stage

Preschool and Elementary Stage