How to Correct and Confront Individual Sin

Do you enjoy confrontation? Few people do. Confrontation is hard because it exposes many fears and insecurities we’d rather not address, but we are called to graciously confront each other to prevent sin from causing further damage. Because we know the devastating effects of sin, we are called to be ministers of reconciliation- which means loving others the way Jesus has loved us (2 Corinthian 5:16-21, 1 John 1:7).  

Here are some practical steps to effectively and graciously confront each other. 


Steps

  1. Find Scriptural evidence that directly confronts the behavior, attitude or action. (We want to make sure it is not just a preference issue or different personality)

  2. Pray about the issue.

    Pray about your heart. Pray for their heart Separate your hurt feelings or annoyances and humble yourself.

  3. Involve your Core Group and give your Coach a heads up that you plan to confront the sin.

  4. Set up a time to meet one on one with the person

  5. Prepare some open-ended questions to explore the underlying issues.

  6. Begin the conversation with encouragement, love, and relationship building

    • “I love that you bring __________ to our group”

    • “I have seen God doing __________ in your life”

    • “I appreciate your friendship because __________”

  7. Explain what a blind spot is and how they can be dangerous and that it is good, gracious, and loving to have people point them out

  8. Cite a specific example of the sin in question.

    • Name an explicit event or comment and ask if they remember it.

    • Explain what was perceived and why it is concerning.

    • Share scripture and give them a chance to respond.

    • Ask clarifying questions.

  9. Communicate that you care more about their heart than their actions and that you care for them.

    • If they agree about their sin, discuss what repentance looks like and help them think through their next steps 

    • If they disagree about their sin, reiterate your love and follow up with your Coach about next steps. Continue to pray and reflect

Why is it good?

  • Sin kills us and separates us from God and other people.

  • We have all been separated from God, but He saved us out of the bondage of sin, reconciling us to Himself and freeing us to an abundant life.

  • We are compelled to be ministers of reconciliation, loving others as He has loved us, which includes confronting the sin.