What Are Rhythms?

A Problem Named Netflix

About six months into marriage, my wife and I spotted a problem. The problem was named Netflix. We realized that instead of spending quality time with each other, we were spending most of our time staring at our TV. So we came up with a solution. “Starting now,” we said, “we’re going to spend way more quality time with each other.” Three months after our decision, we had another problem: nothing had changed. This happened primarily because we’re sinfully lazy, but also because we had no concrete method to accompany our solution. Just saying “we’re going to spend more time together,” wasn’t enough.

Similarly, a lot of us say things like “I want our LifeGroup to really become family with one another,” but often struggle to put concrete steps around that idea. And as a result, we often don’t see much growth.

Not Rules, but Help

Rhythms are designed to help out with that. They’re not rules that we add to the bible (that’s what the folks in Galatians got in trouble for); they’re simply some suggested concrete steps to help actualize your plan of helping your LifeGroup be a Jesus-centered family on mission together.

The rhythms we’ve detailed in the Grassroots Kingdom book are as follows:

• Gather together. Attend a Sunday Gathering together with your LifeGroup. This is something you all are doing already (hopefully), so it’s not an addition to your schedule–just an opportunity to do it together. Some LifeGroups may even want to serve together at the Gathering and/or grab a meal together afterwards.
• Grow together. This is the intentional time of training once-a-week where your LifeGroup catches up with each other, discusses the sermon, confesses to one another, and prays together.
• Go together. Since the goal of LifeGroup is to represent Jesus and be on mission, it’s helpful to have a more neutral place that will be non-threatening to outsiders. Some people you build relationships with may be uncomfortable attending a Gathering or coming to your house to talk about the bible, but would be totally comfortable grabbing dinner or a drink with your LifeGroup.

More to Come

Over the next few days, we’re going to unpack each of these rhythms in more detail, but in the meantime, try not to be overwhelmed. The goal is not so much to add more things to your schedule as it is to help all of us reorient and refocus our schedules in a way that leverages it all for the kingdom of God. And if the bible is true (which it is), it’s all worth it.

How to Welcome Someone Into Your LifeGroup

Let’s say someone came to one of your Gatherings. The speaker made an announcement along the lines of, “we believe the church isn’t a once a week service, it’s a group of people who daily live out the gospel in their community. The way we do this at Midtown is through LifeGroups. So sign up for a LifeGroup!” The person accepted the challenge, signed up for a group, and is now placed in yours! So what’s next? Here are a few pointers on how to be welcoming and inviting to your new LifeGroup member.

Phone Calls are Always Better

It’s so easy for people to miss an email, or read it only to be distracted and forget a few minutes later. So, with us wanting to be as hospitable and inviting to new folks as possible, it’s best to start with a phone call. If they don’t answer, leave a message. It’d probably be a great idea to combo a phone call with an email as well, as long as the phone call happens. Don’t write someone off as not responding to your invite if you haven’t called them.

Meet with Them Sometime During their First Week

One great way to welcome someone into your life (and LifeGroup) is to go out and grab lunch with them sometime during the week of their first LifeGroup. You can meet with them before their first meeting to highlight what your group does and what their expectations are for a LifeGroup, or after the first LifeGroup meeting once they’ve had a chance to meet you. Either way, the main point is to make them feel welcome and get to know them personally.

Over-Narrate their First Time at LifeGroup Night

It “may” be difficult for some people to talk about themselves amongst ten people they don’t know. To offset this, make sure you narrate throughout the night why you do what you do with every component - Catch Up on Life, Review the Mission, Scripture and Sermon Discussion and Engage the Heart. If you need help narrating, simply read out loud word-for-word the explanation at the top of each section. Along with this, make sure you and the rest of the LifeGroup give new people the gift of going second by being first to confess sin and share what God’s been teaching you. You may even consider telling first time guests that they have the freedom not to share if they’d rather just be a fly on the wall and observe.

Make Sure They Are Invited to Your "Third Place"

We recommend our LifeGroups having three “places” to hangout each week. And don’t worry; it’s not as much time commitment as you think.

The first hangout time is your weekly group meeting. The second is at a Sunday gathering. The third is a regular “rhythm” that your LifeGroup has to invite others to. This can be a weekly lunch, happy hour, or a farmer's market. We call this your “Third Place”, and it’s a great and easy way invite people into your LifeGroup without inviting them to your weekly meeting, which can be intimidating.

For the newest member of your group, your Third Place can be a low pressure, fun place where they can just hang out and get to know everyone a little bit better.