Hope for the Hurting This Christmas

“The Christian knows more of the glory of God and the peace he brings than even the angels do. Our sins and sorrows and sufferings are covered by the blood of Jesus. Sentimentality won’t solve our sin problem; only salvation will do that. And only Jesus, the Savior who knows what it’s like to be scarred, can heal our hurts and wounds.”

–Trevin Wax

We know that there are members of our church family who are grieving and suffering this Christmas season. If you are hurting (or walking through life with someone who is), we encourage you to check out these articles and be reminded of the beautiful truth that Jesus entered into your pain and suffering and in Him is the fulfillment of hope and peace. 

 “Singing ‘Peace on Earth’ When Your Heart Is Heavy”

Trevin Wax addresses the question, “How can we sing “peace on earth’ when it’s been such a hard year for peace?” While we don’t have an answer that satisfies all the questions we could ask, we do have a Savior. And in this Savior, this little baby born in Bethlehem, we have hope. Jesus knew suffering, not from a distance but up close. He didn’t give us an answer to satisfy all of our questions; He gave us himself.

“O Come, O Come, Emmanuel”

John Piper discusses why it is good for us to have Christmas songs that capture both dimensions of life: the overflowing joy of the “already” redeemed and the tearful yearning of the “not-yet” redeemed. He goes on to specifically examine the song “O Come, O Come, Emmanuel”. 

Sermon: Happy in Hope, Patient in Pain, Constant in Prayer

In this sermon, (audio and transcript provided) John Piper weaves Romans 12:12 together with the Christmas events of Jesus’ birth. He reminds us that Christ has come at Christmas. He has broken into our tribulation and taken it on himself. 

“To Those Hurting This Christmas” 

John Knight offers encouragement to those hurting during this Christmas season, reassuring them that Jesus knows their hurt and more than that, He endured and is victorious. 

“Joy to This Cursed World”

Nancy Guthrie speaks from the personal experience of losing her daughter and son and addresses how to fight for joy in the midst of the holidays. She specifically recounts singing the Christmas carol, “Joy to the World” and being stuck by the line “far as the curse is found.”

“Celebrating Christmas with a Broken Heart” 

Brittany Salmon recounts one particular Christmas when sin, death, and grief seemed ever-present, and raw grief prevented her from celebrating the holidays like she used to. She describes her fight for gratitude and how that particular season of suffering unveiled her eyes and enabled her to celebrate the holiday’s truest meaning. 

“Making Christmas Melancholy Point Hopeward”

Jon Bloom speaks to our Christmas Melancholy. (known as “Christmas let-down”) He proposes that our Christmas celebrations might actually serve us best as pointers to, not providers of, lasting joy. Bloom specifically addresses how to point this post-Christmas melancholy to hope for children. 

“What Grieving People Wish You Knew at Christmas”

While those of us who surround grieving people can’t fix the pain of loss, we can bring comfort as we come alongside those who hurt with special sensitivity to what grief is like during the holidays. Nancy Guthrie speaks from the personal experience of losing her own children as she offers five truths that grieving people wish we all knew at Christmas. 

Sermon Recap | Hope in Our Suffering

What do we do with our disappointment? What do we do with misplaced expectations?

All this took place to fulfill what the Lord had spoken by the prophet:
 “Behold, the virgin shall conceive and bear a son,
    and they shall call his name Immanuel” - Matthew 1:22-23

This name Immanuel, God with us, is one of the most beautiful things about this season. And here’s why: your whole life hinges on what you make of this name. Without it, your life will be marked by anxiety and fear.

In Isaiah 7, the prophet assures the people that when the enemy inevitably comes, God will be with them. 

Later on in the book of Isaiah, God comforts His people again with the hope of Immanuel by offering them a picture of what Immanuel actually looks like. Isaiah doesn’t promise God’s people that He will take their suffering away. Instead, Isaiah gives a vibrant picture of what Immanuel looks like in action.

But now thus says the Lord,
he who created you, O Jacob,
   he who formed you, O Israel:
“Fear not, for I have redeemed you;
   I have called you by name, you are mine.
2 When you pass through the waters, I will be with you;
   and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you;
when you walk through fire you shall not be burned,
   and the flame shall not consume you.
3 For I am the Lord your God,
   the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.

- Isaiah 43:1-3

There are two promises Immanuel sings over His children:

1. Immanuel will be with us in the midst of our suffering.

2. Immanuel gives us an identity that cannot be taken by the worst suffering

This is why we celebrate the Christmas season; it’s a picture of God relentlessly pursuing us. He shows up into human history not to give us the punishment we deserve but to bless us.

• Rather than punishing, He pursues.
• Rather than inflicting death, He offers life. 
• Rather than cursing, He gives grace.

Emmanuel is more than a nice, happy Christmas song we sing during the holidays. It is a declaration of how far God is willing to go to be with His people in the midst of their pain. 

Trusting God When Bad Things Won’t Stop Happening

Member Spotlight: Courtney and Allen Tipping

Allen and Courtney moved to Columbia in 2005 to help plant Midtown Fellowship. The past decade of their lives has been marked with much suffering. The first year they were in Columbia, Courtney’s father passed away unexpectedly. Two years later, after months of battling with infertility, Courtney and Allen found out that they were pregnant with sextuplets. In March of 2009, at 22 weeks, the babies were delivered into the arms of Jesus. Eighteen months later, the Tippings joyfully delivered a baby girl: Zoe. However, in April of 2014, Zoe was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer, Wilms tumor. The cancer had already taken over one kidney, the lungs, and an artery running to the heart. After several months of chemo and radiation, Zoe underwent surgery at St. Jude’s to remove one kidney and as much of the tumor as the surgeon was able to reach. Currently, all MRI and CT scans are stable. A year later, the Tippings found out they were pregnant again, only to learn a few months later that their daughter had a condition called acrania. While she would be full of life in the womb, she would more than likely not survive once delivered. Baby Mia was born in November of 2015 and lived ten minutes before she too went to be with Jesus. In addition to Zoe, the Tippings have two other living children: Sadie and Toby. 

Throughout your suffering, how did you deal with fear or anger towards God? What have you learned about expressing those feelings? 

Allen: To find out we were pregnant with six babies after struggling with infertility is a hard feeling to describe. So then to make it to 22 weeks only to lose all six of them, I just didn’t understand. We could have avoided all of this. A lot of things hit me after discovering Mia’s diagnosis as well. We were pregnant and it was so exciting and then the news just felt crushing. Even thinking back to Zoe—she was an incredible gift after the six, but she was born with cancer. The mental stuff starts going and you start asking, “Why are you doing this to me?” It felt like a personal attack. I think the biggest question I wrestled with was, “God, do you love me?” 

Courtney: I think the hardest time for me was after we learned about Mia’s diagnosis at our first trimester ultrasound. I still didn’t feel like life had gotten back to normal after everything with Zoe’s cancer. So with the news that we were going to have a daughter that would most likely never live outside the womb, I began to deeply question how we were going to sustain through all of it. 

Allen: One freeing thing that Courtney said to me was, “We are not okay and that’s okay and there’s no rush to get better.” I needed that freedom. I knew I needed to get better, but I didn’t know how to pick up the pieces. For an entire year after losing the six, when I prayed, I used the phrase “God is good” because I didn’t know if I believed it. So I just said it enough until I could believe it. I just had to take little nuggets of truth and hold onto them. I realized that I could not let my current circumstances color my view of the cross. The cross had to be the lens through which I viewed my suffering.

How were you able to have hope in the midst of tragedy?

Allen: The hope happened with every tragedy when we got to see church family be present and do very tangible things to love us. Knowing that people were praying for us was the way we saw the Lord’s endurance for us.

Courtney: When we were in the hospital right in between losing the first two babies and then starting labor with the remaining four, I got to a point where, physically, I just wanted to give up. I desperately wanted to keep fighting and so I asked people to read scripture and speak truth to me as I was in labor. I knew that was the only thing that was going to get me through. And I remember praying that somehow God would be seen clearly through something as awful as losing the six babies. I had a similar feeling about a month into Zoe’s longest hospital stay. On a particularly difficult and emotional night in the hospital, I broke down, unsure how we had the endurance to get through it all. And in the middle of the emotions, I knew that the Lord was giving us the endurance and that somehow He was going to be seen and glorified through all the grossness. 

Allen: I also had to come to grips with the reality that my life may be a tragedy. I just don’t know. I have no backing to say, “It will just get better.” Ultimately you just have to hope for heaven and when Jesus comes back and makes all things new. One thing that was helpful for me was the reminder in 1 Peter 5:9 that people are suffering all over the world in different ways. Some days, I needed the reminder that I wasn’t alone in my suffering. So I would remember that, and I would hope for heaven, and I would look to the cross. Those three things helped me push through. There’s certainly a desire for pain and suffering to end but the only way for that to stop is for Jesus to come back and when He does, judgment starts. So it’s God’s grace to call more people to Himself and not end things now. That was very helpful for me—to remember that what I would love to see happen (my personal suffering ending) would mean others don’t get to experience God’s grace. 

How have you seen God use the suffering in your life for His glory and your good?

Courtney: One way is Toby’s adoption story. Tiffany was one of Zoe’s nurses in the hospital. We formed a relationship with her when she worked weekends at the hospital. Then, in 2016, she met Toby’s birth mother at an elementary school talent show. They got talking and Tiffany learned that she wanted to put her son up for adoption and Tiffany reached out to us. Three weeks later, we were in the hospital, experiencing the birth of our son, Toby. 

Allen: I know of two Midtown members who both became believers after hearing Adam’s sermon on suffering the week after Zoe was diagnosed with cancer. One of the people is now a resident at our church and she recently told me that sermon and experience was one of the main things God used to save her. I don’t want to hurt just so God can use it, but at the same time, it does help—knowing that God can use even the worst of things for good. I don’t want my daughter to have to go through cancer for it to happen, but I’m glad that God uses it. 

Courtney: One sweet way that we see the Lord use the things that are super tough is the continual favor we have with the children’s hospital and ongoing relationships we have with the staff and other patients’ families there. Because we were so deeply loved by community during our stays in the hospital, I have a desire for other families to experience a picture of that type of community as well. We do monthly dinners with the moms who have children battling cancer and it’s just a time to say, “I know a little bit of where you’re at and I’m here.” We’ve also been able to form a Serve the City partnership between Midtown and the Children’s hospital. And at Palmetto Health’s last employee rally, Allen and I were interviewed for a video and had a chance to share our story and we got to talk about Jesus and suffering to every Palmetto Health employee. 

What were the most helpful things that people said or did to come alongside you in your suffering? Any advice for other people as they try to walk well with friends who are suffering? 

Allen: Presence is what matters. Just try to avoid all the clichés. They are unhelpful. Give me the promises that I can hold on to if you are going to give me anything. Mostly, I just wanted people there who would cry with me and let me know they cared. Another thing that was really helpful was when a person would ask if they could do a specific thing for us, like cut our grass. Often, people throw out a more general, “let me know if there’s anything that I can do to help,” but when someone’s life is falling apart, they more than likely don’t even know what they need. 

Courtney: I’d encourage people to not be scared to be present when people are hurting. That’s what I felt like the Lord really used in my life—He uses other people and He uses me when I just show up and I’m available. The other thing that has been really important to me is to have people not forget about the babies we’ve lost and the suffering we’ve gone through. It means so much to me when people want to talk about the babies or see pictures or allow me to talk about Zoe’s continuing journey with cancer. Remember to ask people questions and love them well through it all—even after the first couple of weeks of trauma. 

What good news were you clinging to in the midst of your suffering that you’d like to share with others?

Allen and Courtney: Psalm 62:5-8! Our souls find rest in God alone. 

Yes, my soul, find rest in God;
    my hope comes from him.
Truly he is my rock and my salvation;
    he is my fortress, I will not be shaken.
My salvation and my honor depend on God;
    he is my mighty rock, my refuge.
 Trust in him at all times, you people;
    pour out your hearts to him,
    for God is our refuge.

10 Types of Biblical Suffering

This blog post was written by pastor Jon Ludovina and teaching team resident Garrison Weiner.

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“For God alone my soul waits in silence; from him comes my salvation. He alone is my rock and my salvation, my fortress; I shall not be greatly shaken.”   -Psalm 62:1-2

At some point we will all experience different types of suffering. It’s a difficult reality of living in a fractured world. Everything down here is touched by brokenness. But in the midst of the darkness, Christ has given us a new and living hope (1 Peter 1:3-4). He’s rescued us from sin, promised to walk with us through life and to guide us into the next. As God’s redeemed people we can come to him in our suffering and rest in Him. 

With that in mind here are 10 types of suffering we mentioned in week 7 of our series Exiles, a study of 1 Peter, which you can find here. We hope this is a helpful tool to understand your own suffering, relate to other people’s sufferings and learn how to pray and walk together as God’s exile people:

1. Creation Suffering. This is a very broad category. Every inch of God’s creation has been tainted by sin and it’s effects. Natural disasters, terminal diseases and the sting of death wreak havoc. Much of suffering can be explained with nothing more than, “this is what it’s like to live in a broken world.” We hurt along with creation itself which groans while it waits to be renewed. (Romans 8:19-22)
2. Grief Suffering. The painful reality is we’re all going to see sin take a lot of things away from us. Sin and death and suffering has a traumatic impact on the human soul and the right response is grief. A heart-wrenching cocktail of sadness and anger. People we love die and we grieve. Relationships fall apart and we grieve. We fight and struggle with sin and we grieve. (Ps 31:9-10, 1 Peter 1:6)
3. Consequential Suffering. All sin has collateral damage; both in our own souls and in the people around us. When we actively sin we will experience consequences; and these are often very painful. The Bible states clearly that we are one of the main sources of pain in our lives. (Romans 6:23, Romans 7:21-25)
4. Victim Suffering. Even when we’re not sinning and suffering our own consequences, we will often suffer as other people sin against us; sometimes in really harmful ways. Abuse, trauma, oppression and other forms of evil are painful realities throughout the world. (Psalm 9:9)
5. Empathetic Suffering. Watching someone you love suffer is one of the most painful experiences on earth. God calls His people to identify with the hurting; to mourn with those who mourn. As well those who work in helping professions (counselor, social work, medical, etc.) will walk in this consistently. (2 Corinthians 1:3-4, Romans 12:15)
6. Collective Suffering. This is when you suffer because you belong to a larger group of people who are suffering. We are part of families, nations and ethnic groups. When our group hurts, we hurt. Collective suffering often has a disproportionate effect on minorities. (Judges 21:1-3)
7. Preventative/Discipline Suffering. Some pain is a small pain now that warns us of greater pain coming if we don’t heed the warning (e.g. abdominal pain that indicates appendicitis). Another example is when a loving parent gives their child a small yet painful consequence now to prevent much greater pain later in their life. (Hebrews 12:7-11)
8. Holiness Suffering. When we follow Jesus for the sake of walking in Gods footsteps we will experience the suffering of laying down our fleshly desires and fighting our sin. This battle with the flesh will hurt, and our suffering for righteousness’ sake reveals what an incredible treasure Jesus is. (Romans 5:1-8, 1 Peter 4:1-6)
9. Opposition Suffering. Jesus warned His followers that just following Him will lead to suffering at times. Historically, God’s people have frequently suffered at the hands of those who oppose God. Opposition suffering can range from taunting, getting made fun of all the way to the extreme of physically persecution and martyrdom. (John 15:20)
10. Missional Suffering. Jesus endured suffering to show off how much God loves those who are far from them. We will sometimes be called to do the same to sacrificially love people far from God. (Romans 5:6-8, Colossians 1:24)

It’s important to remember that this list isn’t close to exhaustive, and suffering rarely cuts so clean as to fit neatly into one category. Suffering is often a mysterious combination of of multiple categories and sometimes it has little to no answer at all. However, studying and meditating on these types of suffering can help you respond well to someone who is in pain. It can also encourage you as you delve into and process your own pain. Prayerfully consider what types of suffering you’re dealing with and look to the Scriptures to see how God responds to those dealing with suffering similar to yours.